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Bfy

Recently divorced, met new guy and he asked for me to visit him out of state

Met him a few months back and we go out when we are in town. He invited me to visit for a few weeks out of state. I haven't finished school, I am totally broke and I'm Iiving with a friend. I really don't think this is a time to start anything. Maybe I can go over there and find a job and move out of his house.

Plus, I just got it of a relationship 6 months ago and I prob need sometime alone. Thoughts ? Thank you.

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You've got a handle on this already. Let me reinforce what you already said, you are not in a position to go live with anyone at this time. Trust your instincts. Be independent so if it doesn't work out you're not stranded in a strange place with no friends or family around to help you or keep an eye on you. This just isn't a safe move to make right now. Listen to yourself, you know what you're doing.

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gee's i sure hope she dosnt do this....we hear too many young girls disappearing....just like those 3 young girls in Ohio...locked up in that creepy guys house for 10 years.
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It sounds to me as if she's got her head on straight and won't let herself be talked into something that is inherently dangerous!
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indeed...100% agreed
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Bfy
You are very caring. He is a friend of a friend. He is truly a super nice guys, we haven't had any intimacy. He just wants me to visit him. Prob is I am broke and I don't have a place to return. Maybe I should go bk to my country for a little. But,it will be harder to come bk or even to stay there. I haven't been home in over 6years..
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Bfy
I am afraid to go there and get stuck...I am not doing very well emotionally...jsut got divorced. I feel so lonely and abaandoned...I hope I am not trying to replace him for my Los life with my ex husband ...I need to think.what are your thoughts ? Thank you so very much.
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How long were you and your husband together? How long have you been separated? What country would you return to, and could you come back here whenever you wanted to? With this information, I will be happy to share my thoughts with you.
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Bfy
Ahh..you are so sweet! Thanks..I was with my husband for 3 years altogether. But, I have no feelings for him. He was just not a nice man, cheated on me and is marrying the other woman. We have been separated for 8 months and I just got my divorce last week. I can come back to the US anytime since I am from Colombia. I life in Florida and he lives in Texas...I am so embarrased to tell him I couldn't finish school. Everytime I think about it I want to cry. I was in my last semester and now this delayed everything..
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Have you made certain there is nothing you can do to finish school at this time?
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Your feelings of being lonely and abandoned are very normal, any time a marriage ends, those feelings are in the basket of emotions. As you heal from your feeling of being a failure, you will see that there are many people who care about you, you are not alone, and you haven't lost anything you won't get back when the right person comes along, if that's the path you choose. Do you enjoy the US? If you want to spend your life here, make a stand for what is important to you. It's also okay to return to Colombia if you need a rest and to be comforted by your family and friends there, just know it might be hard to pull yourself away from that comfort and return to this country. Personally, if I was that close to graduating, I'd find a way to stay in school and finish. Can you find work? How about getting a student loan for the short-term? Can you force your husband to pay spousal support long enough to finish your education? If you helped him with school, it is only right for him to help you too.
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Bfy
thanks so much for helping...can we use email or here? if you like you can email bichon.frise@yahoo.com
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best stay put, this new guy could be a mass murderer for all you know right now

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He might be a raper or a murderer...be conscious

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I don't really think that long enough to meet yet. I wouldn't be comfortable meeting in person for a while longer. Maybe if you could get him to come to you instead. If it's really meant to be something, he'll wait.

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Until you can't stand on your own two feet, Put this guy on the back burner for a while,

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Spit_n_Fire
VERY good advice !
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thank you :)
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thank you :)
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Bfy
Thanks..good advise...think so too! :)
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He should come visit you

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i think you should finish school. Then maybe give yourself some time to heal, and enjoy yourself. Then maybe think of men. Just a thought.

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Bfy
Thanks
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no problem
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First of all think of this...if you were to go out of state to this guys home....you might be walking into a downstairs chamber and never be heard of again....please dont! you could be walking into danger with your heartstrings. like other's said have this guy come see you....so that you're around family and friends.

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For now, enjoy your freedom on being single again. Enjoy life. Enjoy everything. It is too early to get involved again. If I were you, I'll travel to neighbouring states and meet new folks but being very careful at the same time.Going to new places. All on my OWN terms.

Mi Vida. Mi Madrid.

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Dont wreck your life and go chasing after some guy you barely know. Tell him you cant afford a trip like that now and are not interested in getting serious. You need to finish school and get youre career started.

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You just answered your own question. You are in no position to take off right now, be honest and tell him timing is bad. He can stay at hotel and visit you if he's interested.

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angelwolf

Yep stay where you are cause going to him would complicate your life more.

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