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How do I overcome my fear of holding and kissing my boyfriend please help iam a girl

I trying to overcome my fear of holding and kissing my boyfriend please help

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Your forcing yourself to do something your not ready for...
stop and step back from this...
you have a lifetime for this to unfold naturally without stress

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Well he asked if we were still dating and I said yes and he said good iam going to sit by u and I said no then he said why and I said because I don't want u to then he dumped me which I didn't care and he diden't text me back
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it all revealed Its self... you must follow Your path
Good luck
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Just grab him and then squeeze him until he faints.

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But wouldn't tht be mean
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Maybe you're just not ready. Give it time. Do it when you're comfortable with it. Once you know him better and are comfortable around him it shouldn't be so scary.

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This can be a dangerous question. I've seen this before with a friend. This girl wasn't getting over her fear even with time. After I talked to her for about an hour she realized it was caused by a horrible suppressed memory from childhood. She completely fell apart; one of the worst things I've ever had to hear...
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Thx tht is helpful
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Np ^_^

@Rich yeah I agree. If you've had a rough past or something bad happen to you then you could also suffer from PTSD and that could be a reason that someone struggles to do something physical with the opposite sex... OR in rare cases they're just gay hahaha

But most of the time, I would just say they're uncomfortable and not ready!
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Yea remembering that day effected my answer. I would just hate to have something like that happen again. Its actually happened twice; no joke! One was just so bad... I mean I don't mind talking with someone if they have a problem but suppressed memories are way out of my league. I'm probably worried about nothing though I think your right. Gay? Lmao that would be a strange time to discover that. "Hmm...it just doesn't feel right when I kiss a guy..." I guess some people figure it out after they get married so why not.
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Well, I myself have had problems with PTSD from things that have happened to me. (Now you're hearing some of my messed up past :P) And I've actually had to explain this to guys that I've been with and they're always just so confused or put off by it. I always tell them right off that bat that if it's too much for them to handle or they can't deal with my problems, then they can simply walk away and I won't hold it against them. But some guys are absolute jerks about it!! You'd be surprised. Anyway, enough of my personal life!! hahaha

LOL but yeah I've had a Lesbian friend that I knew since she was little and the first time she kissed a guy she was so repulsed and didn't understand why for a couple more years. When she considered the fact that she might be gay, it all started to make sense to her! lol
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:( I'm sorry to hear that. Like I said I've known a few girls that have had bad stuff like that happen and there was nothing bad about them. Not just the two I mentioned a few that didn't suppress it. If anything they were I don't know how to put it...more real I guess? Its so true what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. How could someone hold that against you?? F*ck those guys who walked away without getting a chance to know you! You are probably better off without someone like that.
Lmao @ you friend. Not saying that's a bad thing just so damn funny. Hey I'm siding with her guys are gross!
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Yeah I've met a few girls with a similar history also and they are usually very "real" and down to Earth girls. I've become very tough-skinned, which I think it good ^_^
Oh I know, any guy that blew me off for my history (that I didn't have a choice in) can scr3w off. Even when I told my ex fiance about it one night, he just turned over without responding and "fell asleep" AKA starting snoring 5 seconds after I was done telling him what happened to me. I don't put up with guys like that. Not worth my time.
Haha I'm envious of my friend! I wish I could just be full-blown gay sometimes!!
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Your ex did what!? Wtf is wrong with people... I was with one of the girls that told me and I sure as hell did not ignore her. She said getting a response like that from someone you care about was more help then she's ever had when dealing with it. I couldn't imagine how that would make you feel... How could he even sleep after hearing that??
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Well you must be one of the 1% of good guys then :P Don't get me wrong, an ex of mine was very supportive once and even wanted to tract the guy from my past down and beat him up! LOL
I suspect that he wasn't actually sleeping. I think it was his way of not having to deal with it and hoping that I wouldn't bring it up again.
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I always thought that everyone would act like that. I'm surprised and sick to hear how I guess most guys are. I mean its not a subject I bring up with male friends so I never thought of it. Especially if he was your fiance... If you really love someone don't you care more about them then yourself??
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Yeah I can tell you right now there are a lot more cruel guys out there than you probably think there are. I'm very cautious.

And that's why I came to the conclusion that my ex didn't really love me. Well, that and also because he wanted to change me. But you saw the question I asked about that, right?
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Thx tht was very helpful
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No I didn't. If this guy couldn't love the person he intended to marry then he has problems... Was this recent? It must have been your not elderly like me lol.
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I just noticed there are still pictures of me and my ex all over my facebook. Do you think she will get mad? I mean they are tagged photos so I didn't post them or anything.
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Well apparently the original got deleted because I called his religion a "cult" lol
I find it pretty offensive that they deleted it. But he's part of a particular religion (that I will not say so this doesn't get deleted) that is very cultish. They believe in speaking in tongues and such. He didn't tell me about his religion until after we were engaged, yes he kept it from me all along. Right before he told me, he started to tell me what to wear, bought me a new wardrobe and told me how to wear my hair.And once we were engaged he expected me to convert to his creepy religion in order to marry him. He would be considered the "head of the household" and I, his weak, feeble wife that must follow what he says. He was hiding his true self all along and expected me to change for him. When I said that I wouldn't, he broke it off. He doesn't think that he did anything wrong.
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@glittereyes, sorry about our rambling! lol we do this randomly on answers. If any of it helps though, please, read on! ^_^
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Wtf?? I've never met you and I can already tell you wouldn't go for that. I don't even know what to say to that I mean how would he think that was going to work or even a good idea? I mean convert someone who is atheist to a religion that makes less sense then normal? Trying to make you basically his slave? Lying to you about everything that he is??
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I don't know lol but people on your facebook can't see this on there can they? If they can, she could very well get mad haha
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Lmao I know right? I keep forgetting this is a public message board and people are getting notifications every time I comment.
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I think he was pretty thick! LOL all of my friends said the same thing. Everyone knows how stubborn I am... I am convinced that he really thought his religion was that powerful that it would jsut draw me in. Crazy people. He kept messaging me for the longest time just saying "Please, come to my bible study, just give it a chance." To which I would reply "I don't believe in your god" and then list the reasons why. ^_^ If he wants to harass me then I'm going to prove him wrong with science. When I gave good reasons as to why his religion was likely false and that he was part of a cult, all he said was that I would just have to talk to his pastor. LOL
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Oh well! HAHA mines not connected to Facebook and I don't have my real name on here so I'm not too worried. You on the other hand... :P lol
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No no lol, they cant see this stuff. I'm more worried about photos of me and her together they are all over my photo gallery. I was just going through them. I even found one of me and her when we first met and I got her number. We were about your age and I was so wasted I look like an idiot. There is a broken window in the background from some guy that went insane and tried to murder the guy who owned the house and we had to "eject" him. I don't know if you can see it but its funny. https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/225278_224599204221395_1157048_n.jpg
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Haha oh wow!! She's pretty too btw.
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And no I'm not losing my hair its just shaved lol.
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Lol I figured that ^_^
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Yea she looks exactly the same. Neither one of us has aged while most of our friends look like they've been through hell. I didn't even know it was an old picture until I tried remembering where it was taken. She's short too and looks so young people used to think I was a child molester or something when we would go out in public lmao.
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Man I f*cked that up good...(no I never cheated)
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Well that's sad :/ What happened anyway, if you don't mind me asking?
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Well...Its a question I didn't want to post but I don't mind telling you (or i guess glitter too lol) even though you may not think I'm so cool anymore lmao. I got real sick and was in the hospital for a weeks at a time. She was very supportive but I could see she was getting depressed. We loved going and doing outdoor stuff and I couldn't do it anymore. Then a month or so later they told there was no cure and I didn't have long left to live, maybe few years if I was lucky. I didn't get sad about that I could only think about how I would tell her. I mean I've been through a lot of bad sh*t but if I found out she was dying I would be all done. I though about it for a while and didn't tell her. I came to the conclusion if she wanted a husband, a house, children or a life that she wouldn't find that with me. Also why drag her down with me just so she could watch me waste away and die. I decided I needed to make her break up with me and the more she hated me the less it would hurt when I died. I know it might be hard to understand but I've been with her for years and the thought of her finding someone better was okay as long as she was happy. Trying to make her not like me anymore hurt more than anything and I took a turn for the worse. Some of my past back to haunt me and I started again with the drugs and alcohol. I figured I had nothing left so who gives a sh*t. After a while of all this my life was falling apart. Then I found a new doctor trying to get better treatment and with better testing I found out I was misdiagnosed and I guess I would live. Rebuilding was still possible because I made lots of money but then I was laid off (nothing to do with my problems). Now I live in a city apartment with a roommate that's a slob and he barely pays his bills. Life is fun lol.
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WOW
That's so intense. How could she be mad at you for this? Have you explained it to her?
That seems pretty selfless to me, I absolutely don' think less of you. May I ask what the misdiagnosed disease was?
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She did start to forgive me when I told her but I was a mess by then. It became more of we will get back together when I get my life together. Its been a few months and she talks to me less and less. Then she made it clear that we are not together until everything is fixed. They told me I had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease or COPD even though I was at the gym every day and didn't smoke for years. COPD is permanent lung damage so if you have a little you can live for a long time. However I couldn't walk more than 10 feet. No running and stairs were dangerous. I was having attacks that would almost kill me even with treatment. So if I did have COPD I would only get worse from there and I was in the last stages of the disease. What was really causing it I think was black mold even though I lived in a nice clean house. I'm glad you don't think less of me because a lot of people do due to the drugs and alcohol. Along with her I lost a lot of friends and just about everything I had. I was out of work for more than 6 months and short term disability screwed me.
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Well hopefully you can keep improving you life and slowly work past it. It's good that it was just black mold, I hope that you got away from that! That's so scary, I know black mold can easily kill someone.

I absolutely don't judge you for drugs. I smoked cigarettes since I was 12 years old. I was slipping into alcoholism in college.. I was drinking every single day. My brother does cocaine. I used to smoke pot and I've tried some random drugs that I shouldn't have. Even if all of that were not true, I don't judge people for things like that. I understand addiction and what it does to people. It's tough. I still struggle with alcoholism. Trust me, I've lost a lot of friends from it too, but the important ones will always be there. I hope that you're improving and staying positive. Pure positivity is what turned my life around.

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Thank you I don't hear people say that a lot. When it comes to moving forward I'm like an old dog that just wont die lol. I can't stop no matter how bad it gets. Some of the crap that happened long ago made it so I never get to the point of breaking anymore. I think that can only happen once or something. One thing I've learned about myself is now when shit has gotten about as bad as it can get I don't fall apart I just start laughing. Its like I step out of myself and look around and its so bad its funny. I don't know if that makes sense but that's the new thing I guess. Maybe I'm just nuts lol. I mean now I know I may still have a future even if its not with her so it hasn't been as bad. There is always some poor b@stard out there that has it worse then me right? So as long as nothing bad happens to her I will be okay. If she does find someone else I still feel the same, I just hope she is happy.
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I'm sorry to hear you still have to deal with that crap with the booze. I can tell you are strong and can beat it. I don't have a problem with it anymore and I can have a drink but the drugs I need to stay away from. Maybe I will get to the point where I can stay positive when things start going right. At least my sense of humor never left me lol. I don't mope around or anything I just keep moving and looking for something to make me happy again no matter how small.
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Hahaha I don't think the laughing thing sounds crazy. I've looked back at all the crazy things I've been through and honestly I can laugh and just think to myself "If only I knew then what I know now." I think laughing is a way to deal with everything without having to break down and cry. For instance when I found out the my ex fiance was in a cult, I made a joke of it. I went out with my friend and we just kept responding to everything bad that happened with "Well, at least I didn't join a cult" It's kind of a sick twist of humor, but hey, if it gets you through the day then so what?

So you're thinking, hopefully she's happy, and hopefully she has an amazing life, with you or not. And I bet you that she's thinking the exact same thing about you. I hope that you can work past your problems and she accepts you back into her life! ^_^
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i think for the most part I'm over the alcohol ^_^
My friend (and drinking buddy) had a near death experience with it and that was my wake-up call.
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Hey any future is better than no future right? Lmao I don't think I ever thought I would be throwing this up on ask.com never mind getting some good advice back. Guess I didn't think I would be talking someone who could understand any of that crap. I don't think I've even talked about it since the day I tired explaining it to her. That's probably another reason I feel better. Thanks! :D
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lol same here! Kind of strange talking about it on Ask but definitely a good conversation :)
I'm glad I helped you feel better ^_^
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Hahaha seriously and definitely damn good conversation. I think I'm going to burn the house down trying to cook and stay on ASK so I gotta go. If I do I'm blaming you! :P See you later!
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Hahaha okay I guess I can take the blame for that :P
See you around ^_^
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Wow so many comments!
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If you really like him it should come natural. I can see how you may be nervous but it should go away. Just make sure you tell him its not because you don't like him. If thats not the case then do you know what exactly is causing this fear? Did something bad happen to you that would make you afraid of men? If yes you should get counseling.

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Iam in counseling
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If this is your first and recently started relationship I wouldn't worry just give it time.
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It isn't my 1st relation ship I have dated other guys
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:o So you were comfortable with other guys and not him or was it like this before?
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It was like this before but some how I got over it
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Well maybe it just takes you a little bit to warm up to guys. Either to really like or to trust them. There is nothing wrong with that. One thing you haven't mentioned is has this been going for a long time? I mean how long have you been going out with him? Maybe you just need to meet the right guy. My last girlfriend had only kissed one other person and only once because she was so shy and nervous around guys. But when we met and both knew it was something special and there was no fear. We stayed together for 12 years.
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If you really liked him, you wouldn't have this problem. You are nervous and scared because you are not ready. You should tell him what you are feeling. He might think that you don't like him or something. It is better to save your relationship than for him to think that you are just dating him for the sake of dating him ...

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angelwolf

Well, if you aren't old enough to wanna do that then that is probably the problem. Tell him you aren't ready and if he understands fine if he doesn't dump him.

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just take it slow and then soon enough you will overcome that fear and be able to hold and kiss him without hesitation,

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He gave me a card this morning on the bus
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Maybe your not ready just wait until your comfortable to do that.

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Amazon1warrior

You are simply not ready.That doesn't mean you don't care for him,you just need to take things slow.

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