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Im 14 and im currently talking to a 17 year old but he is going to turn 18 in september. Opinions?

He is lovely and wouldnt touch me until sex is legal. We get on really well

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He's too old for you. Even if you don't have physical contact, it can legally be described as statutory rape. Do you want him to be labeled as a sex offender for the rest of his life? Keep his address in a public database and never allowed near schools or playgrounds? Then don't date him.

Also, you're 14, he's almost 18, you are two totally different people with completely different mindsets. No matter how nice he is, you're still the "kid" here, and neither he nor his friends would ever take you very seriously. You'd have a lot of trouble finding things in common... genuine commonalities in your stances and personalities, not just liking the same movie. Save yourself the heartache, hon, and find a guy your own age.

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Vivek_Addi
does age difference really matter in a relationship?..I mean not in this case, this is totally inappropriate but in general does age difference matters? should a 20 year old be in love with 30.
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At that point, it really depends on the individuals. Like 30 and 40 isn't as big of a difference, personality-wise and life-wise, as 20 and 30. I'm 24 and my SO 28, we get along wonderfully but did not talk at *all* in high school. My parents have an 8 year difference, as well. It's just that in the teen years, they still haven't developed into who they're going to be. Plus an 18-year-old (technically an adult) would have an easy time influencing and manipulating a 14-year-old.
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Vivek_Addi
Actually I am 20 and my GF was 30 (I broke up recently), she now exclaims that I manipulated her. I broke up bcoz I was not ready for a long term commitment since I am just a college student, i haven't got a career as well , how can I commit? So broke up. Hope I did right,?
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Yeah if you put your effort into the relationship and you cared about her, that's all anyone can ask for. It sounds like she wanted the next phase in her life and you weren't ready for that... there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, in fact it's good that you know exactly where you are in life and where you want to be, as long as you clarify that to her. And if you didn't realize it until she asked, well, you just didn't realize it.
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I don't think there is a problem with this, plus the authorities cannot compel you to break up. However, you must ensure you stick to the plan and hope he's as good as you say because if you get intimate and he's caught, he could be charged with statutory rape.

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You don't have to have sex to be charged with statutory rape. Just dating a minor can land the guy in jail, depending on state laws.
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I know a lot of people that do that although I don't like idk I guess you say think sex is a good thing to do for people our age but if I were you I wouldn't stop what you're doing because its illegal I just wouldn't do anything in public

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Hi :-) lol
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Hi
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whoa
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What?
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Idk Im tired so i get random nd.preverted lol
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Ahah xD
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Xd
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Go for it. If u guys love each other age.don't matter

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Tell that to her parents ... AND the police ... AND the convicts he'll soon be living with.
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monstergirl I Could not DISAGREE with you more... too much sge dIfference at this age... him being 30 and her 26...ok that differnt But she is too young and he should be hanging with peers his own age
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I hang out with 15,15,17,17,18,18 ok i.hang out with them my guy friends
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Bad idea! Forget this guy, you don't want him to end up in prison, do you? In fact, just forget boys all together and focus on your schoolwork.

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I was a teacher for many years...and little 14 year old girls who dated 18+ year old boys usually come up pregnant. He is a sexually active....(or soon to be) young man and you're just barely a teenager and certainly not ready for the huge emotional roller coaster of having a relationship with a man. Do yourself a favor and diss this guy and hang with your own age group.

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rshackleford

In New York its already legal, they have a 4 year rule.

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For those OVER the age of 16.
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rshackleford
No. 14. Heard from police directly because my step daughter had same issue.
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nope, two reasons- he is too old for you, and you are too young to be dating...
he says he "respects your age" until you're the age when sex becomes legal, but as you get older but still not of age, he is going to get persistent and might even rape you. A lot of guys can't wait that long when it comes to that...

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Um Ik people who r 14 nd pregnant by the same guy. And they been dating for 2
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Yes date someone a bit younger 18 and 14 look dose it look right no his mind is nit on the same page! And you are to young for the drama! So ya have fun at your age to young for boy stuf?

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It would be most wise for you to forget this young man for another few years. If it's meant to be, it will happen, but if it's not...you will have dodged a bullet. You are not ready for the commitments involved in dating someone that much more mature than you. This does not have a happy ending for you if you try to make it work...please listen to the majority of the advice you've received...hard to do, I know, but much easier than the alternative will be in the long run!

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I hope she listens!
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well once he turns 18 it tuens into statutory rape if you have sex but a platonic relationship is fine in my book

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Doesn't matter, just dating a minor can still be classified as statutory rape.
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I said in my book not the laws :-)
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Well I think your book could use some revising ;)
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no mine us fine I just think tge law has a few unfair rules
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How is it unfair? An adult has completely different expectations out of a relationship than a teen. And whether you admit it or not, the "awe" of dating an older person makes it very easy for them to manipulate the younger. It's to protect teens and children. If you think it's ok for a fourteen year old and an 18-year-old to date, what about a thirteen year old? Twelve? Eleven? Where do you draw the line? If the teen got pregnant by an adult, is that when you say "it's not okay"?
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Take it from a girl who dated a 20-year-old when she was 15 - the law is there for a reason, you should pay attention to it and listen to the adults who say that the age difference is unacceptable. Because it *will* come back to bite you in the a$$ if you ignore it. There are no exceptions, no magical love stories of making it work.
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I'm an adult myself don't talk to me like I'm a child telling me to listen to the adults but I think a four year gap is fine when they become a teen now 18 and 14 its not like the guy asked while he was 18 he's turning 18 he can't help that so their just suppose to break up because of it forget any feelings they may have had because he's old enough to vote and smoke ? and I ve dated older men my current boyfriend is 39 and I'm 23 ao I already know about age diffrence
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I'm not saying I support 40 men asking out 13 year old girls I'm saying if they were both minors while dating and in a relationship one happens to turn 18 that shouldn't mean they need to break up because of that
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39 and 23 is still very different from 14 and 18. I don't think they needed to be dating to begin with - how's 13 and 17 sound? 12 and 16? It's not just about the number. I imagine your boyfriend has very different interests than you - as much as you get along, you're still very different because of that age. He's probably planning retirement accounts and thinking about kids, whereas you may be barely out of college. A 14-year-old isn't mature enough to handle those differences, and they're definitely not mature enough to know how to handle a man being inappropriate. I still say, from personal experience being in this girl's exact situation, that she is better off without this relationship until she's older. And like I said in my post, even if you don't agree with it, does she want to risk having him labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life?
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I never heard of a 39 year already thinking about retirement plans and yes we are different but like I said there should be some leniency if one turns 18 if they are in a relationship and one turns 18 I think there shoukd a little leniency mosr females want males a year or two older
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Most people I know close to their 40's already have retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and long-term plans in mind... usually because people are too impulsive to plan for that at a younger age.

But back to my point... I know most women like older men. But at 14, she's not a woman, she's a child. At 14, could you have handled the differences between your man and you? At 14, do you think it would have been easy for him to influence you? At a young age it's kind of intimidating and hard to say no to or disagree with a boyfriend that's so much older. The guy doesn't have to be a bad person, or intentionally manipulate.
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I understand what your saying the only point I'm trying to drive if they were both minors to begin with and one happens to turn 18 I don't think they should have to break up that's what I ment by the law being unfair there should be exceptions when the minor is in a relationship and one turns 18
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He is too old for you. Put it this way. When your 18 date whoever. Within certain age limits. Like you wouldn't date someone old enough to be your dad. Set standards. Date someone closer to your age. That or date someone four years younger than you then ask if its weird or not. Bc one day you both with become tempted to have sex an you will end up having sex way to soon. Trust me I've been tere and done that.

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He is to old for you but it is better to wait for another guy to come along but love is love and whatever your hearts telling you is what you should go out and do.

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