one day an elderly lady saw on the news that someone was driving the wrong way on the interstate. concerned she called her husband who was driving on the interstate. she said,"honey be careful there is a person driving the wrong way on the interstate!" he said."yeah i know there are hundreds of em!"
Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily. His mother asked, "What's the matter now?" "Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer," said Johnny through his tears. "That's not so serious," soothed his mother. "I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldn't cry at something like that. Why didn't you just laugh?" "I did!" sobbed Johnny.
A blonde calls the fire department to report a fire: Fireman: Ma'am, where is the fire? Blonde: In my kitchen. Fireman: But ma'am, where are you located? Blonde: I'm at home. Fireman: But ma'am, how do we get there? Blonde: DUH!! Big red truck!!!