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How can I be a better Mom? I get upset very easily over my children's action cause I believe they can do better than that.

I know I over react sometimes but it's not like I mean to do so plus all I ever want is their best interests. I want to be fun being around with and I can't communicate right with them for too long, I lose my patient very easily.

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Whenever you get upset with them, take a few minutes to think through what you want to say, and how you're going to say it to them. If you feel yourself getting angry, step into another room for a minute to collect yourself. If they do something wrong, I think that the most effective method of getting this through to them is talking to them calm but firm. Sit them down and have a one on one. If you show them irrational and angry behavior... well, they're learning from example by watching you, so if they get upset with you they're going to start just being angry and irrational right back. Talk to your kids the way that you want them to talk to their kids someday. You don't have to be their best friend, but getting angry is just going to make things more difficult on you in the long run.

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that's really a great answer and help. I appreciate it thank you very much :) *hugs*
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Thank you!
Glad to help ^_^
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Picture how you were a kid I'm sure you were raised perfectly do what's best for your kids and learn from your parents

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I did and once my Husband told me that time changed and now days kid's doesn't have the mentality we used to have. It's more complicated
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When you say that they can "do better" im assuming that they did something that didn't turn out quite right. I'm also assuming that you told them them that. Who knows? They might've tried their best on whatever they did and you hurt their feelings...? This is pointless... I hope i helped...?

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remember that you once were a kid yourself

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Hmm. Didn't mention dad. I think all parents need to have expectations for there kids. Kids thrive on structure, constancy, and goals. You say "c" or better, you are going to get "c". So set goals, I always tell my kids "B" or better. Guess what I get, "b" and "A". So, you are good on expecting things that kids can do. I was mowing yards at 8 years old. Now days its way different. Parents expect less, they get less. As far as patients, take a moment, think how you are going to articulate what you expect out of them. I think one time I made my kids sign contacts so they knew what was expected. You may need a break sometimes. Drop them off at grandparents and go back home and relax. Not party. Find a way to give mom a break so you can do what you need.

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If you want child to be disciplined, you have to discipline yourself first. Otherwise, you're just a tyrant. Everyone in house should live by a certain standard, and you are in charge of what standard is and being example of it.

Remember that just because a child falls short, or makes mistakes doesn't mean they aren't on right track. They are developing and learning in a process which takes decades.

Most important is to enjoy your children because they grow up fast.

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I'm only a child myself but I think its okay to get upset over things your child does that you don't approve of because it shows them that you don't like it and they may think twice before doing it next time. But maybe if they are still around ask your mother or mother in law because I'm sure they did a great job with their child :) Best wishes

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I think you need to honestly ask yourself if your expectations are too high bars on their age, ability and character. It's not wrong to want good things for your children. Are you doing it for you or them? It is a fine balance. Remember they need your love and acceptance, not friendship. Are you living through them? Imagine them 20 years from now and how they view you. Did you challenge them in a healthy way to be their best? Or were you a drill Sargent barking orders? Let them be kids too. Only you can answer these questions. Are you getting the emotional support you need? Family, friends, church?

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how to challenge them in a healthy way? can you give me examples please
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Whenever you are angry count to ten (my mom's advice), but we should spend time with Jesus and let the Holy Spirit change us into his likeness. They need instruction and discipline, but not a mother who is going to be pouncing on them every time they turn around.

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Remind yourself that you love your kids and that anything that they may do, that upsets you isn't as valuable as what they are.

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Try approaching it differently: tell them that what they're doing is interesting, but ask what would be a better way to answer the question, or handle a situation. Put the ball in their court, make THEM think about a better solution. You have to take the time to sit down with them calmly during this process.

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Also, I recently read a study that said "helicopter parenting" is counter productive... Children need to be allowed to make their own mistakes and learn from them.
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Try to remember that your first obligation is to create and nurture a positive, trustworthy relationship with your kids.

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The fact that you're seeking advice about being a better mother already makes you a great mom. I believe that all parents think they can do better and try and raise their children better. Because we all believe our children will always deserve better no matter what. I have 3 children and trust me, I get on them a lot but if we let them run around acting like fools, we are only hurting them.

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The answer is in part of your question. You think your kids can do better than that? So basically that tells me that they are being screamed at for their untapped potential. To me, parenting is about teaching them how to tap into their potential. It sounds like you need to change from Gestapo parenting, to inspirational parenting. I found as a parent that my children did better when encouraged and when I participated in what they were doing with support and enthusiasm. Instead of putting my efforts in to pointing out what they weren't doing. I'm not saying I avoided teachable moments, but I didn't yell and scream at them. The more I supported them the more they trusted me and the more they told me about who they were. The more I learned about them the better I got. Confession time was weekly, they could tell me everything they thought they did wrong and we talked about it. As a parent you have to know what your kids need from you as much as they need to know what you need from them. you don't give everything to them, you negotiate what you can and you are the last word on what you can't, no matter how much they argue you don't scream, you calmly say I'm the parent I said no and no means no so it's not open for discussion. then walk away.

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Hey it's okay to apologize to your kids give them plenty of love with guidance and if they're old enough you got a let them take the reigns for their own life. And cut those apron strings silly girl

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