Lately I've been getting suicidal thoughts and I've been causing bruises on my face to punish myself for being bisexual. Please read
I never understood Why I didn't want to be bisexual until I realized it was the family environment I had been brought up in. after four years of having feelings for the same sex I told my mum and she played with my head. she said it was normal for a teenager to be confused. the next day she said she wants to take me to the doctors and talk to a counselor because it isn't normal. I hated myself for over four years. I just want to stop feeling like I m living a lie. I cant do anything without it affecting my family. I feel like everything is my fault. that it's my fault I'm this way and everything I just blame myself for. and I feel like I need to punish myself. I started to get suicidal thoughts. every time I saw a pole I would think about hanging myself. I did hurt myself which I don't want to say how.. but I know I can get through this. no way would I ever commit suicide. but the thoughts feels like they will always be there in the corner of my mind. my question is should I speak to somebody. is this really serious because I'm not too sure. I sometimes feel fine other times I feel so wrong. by the way my mum just thinks she knows What is best for me I guess. she loves me Nd I love her. I want to do Whats right. but idk what is right anymore.