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How does the world expect a man whose wife divorced him to pay for two households.

My wife divorced me 7 years ago and got married to her now husband a month after our divorce. I did not know she already had a guy when we where divorcing so I gave her everything the car, the house, she had been out of work and was being a mom and mother to my 4 kids. So I knew it would be hard on her to restart. the thing is i had to start working two full time jobs one to pay my child support of 980 dollars a month and another to help support my new house hold. I see no end and I am getting tired. It's odd it's like I am forced to pay her money not to see my kids. Just to let you in on my life. I go to almost every football game, track meet and soccer game. I have never missed a single child support payment. I just feel like my life was taken away. I don't see why the government doe's not make people of divorce pay their own bills in their own house holds and the kids would just spend their time with what ever parent they want or most comfortable.

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Yes, that is really unfair. It's prejudice against males when it comes to parenting. It seems backwards you had to give her everything to care for kids...why not just have kids with you if you had means to support them?

But thinking of how unfair it is will just wear you out. Maybe you can go back to court and adjust custody or child support.

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Again the system has failed me in that area because i have had to struggle keeping two full time jobs going for the past year I have only had time to see my kids every other weekend or an extra day here and there for the past 7 years. compared to her living in the same house and keeping the kids in the same school and partly living off my dollar she looks more stable of a parent than I do.
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I am not 100% sure but I was under the impression if she got remarried you didn't have to pay child support anymore?

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Alimony payments stop upon remarriage, child support stops when the children are 18 (usually).
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True I was thinking they were adopted too. Get him to adopt and then you won't have to pay :)
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I have 8 more years of child support to pay unless something bad where to happen to her that would make it so they would have to place into my care. I wouldn't want anything like that. I just would like it if my money stayed in my house hold so I could buy them beds and clothes at my house. Nothing like having a room for each child but not be able to even afford a bed for them.
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If her huband adopts them then you won't have to pay child support. Also if she is working now and wasn't before it may change child support.
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I wouldn't want him do adopt them he is a convicted felon. She has never had to work.
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You aren't paying her house bills you are paying your childrens expenses including meals clothes and what is considered their portion of living expenses like utilities and a portion of the roof over their heads not your wife's other wise all the housing and utility bills would just come to you and they are a lot more. Subtract the average utility bill and the mortgage on your former home. Then see if there's enough left over to feed and clothe the kids . Her husband is not responsible for one penny of it I hate to say. If you do the math without assumption you will see the difference. It's 225 per kid per week could you be fed clothed housed and have uncovered medical and misc. expenses for that ? I doubt it not these days and not in this country.

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I understand all that but I also have all of the same expenses, I can hardly feed my kids for two days when they come over and still afford my car payment and gas to drive to both my jobs. I think she should have to take care of her house hold by her self she choose to divorce me and I think she should not have the right to anything I can or should provide to my house hold. Total forfeit of any rights she had while I was married to her for leaving me. There is more to the story I have to give you. My ex wife also lives off my autistic sons SSD check and her new husbands SSD which he gets because he damaged his heart using drugs right before he became a convict. So she gets alot of assistance and child support while she gets to sit home with my kids playing house with some convict. Don't get me wrong shes a good mom but I will never be allowed by the state to be the best dad I could be because I am limited by them. Are you seeing it yet she litterly gets everything while I work my self to death and get nothing and I look like I am the one who has a hard time maintaining a good living environment when I am left with nothing to work with.
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Unfortunately they can consider it by need. its all a formula, and not Individualized. Karma is ever present in people's lives. Don't forget that. Your children are your children forever as well. When they understand they will act the right way towards you both and you will be rewarded in other ways. That doesn't help now but satisfaction comes in more than monetary ways and you are stinging about more than money.
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That does help me feel better. I know it's for my kids and all that I just wish I had more for them at my house...
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been there, done that for 15 years with child support. as for myself, living in a vehicle and shelter. my kids were turned against me by their mother and don't want nothing to do with me. count yourself lucky if you get to see your kids.

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It is very unfair (and I'm a divorced woman). It sounds like you need the court to review you case (visitation, payments and custody). Could you afford a live-in housekeeper if the children came to live with you? This might be of some help to you: http://fred4men.com/

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Since your wife remarried, all you are required to pay is child support... You need to have the Final Order of Dissolution of Marriage amended whereby you would not have to pay mortgage, electric, etc., this is the new husband's responsibility... If you were required to pay her alimony or spousal support, this ends the second she became remarried... I suggest calling your attorney who handled your divorce to get the ball rolling... Best wishes...

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It IS unfair.
And your children pay the price for their mother's poor decisions.
It sounds as if you are concerned the money you send is not going to your children's needs in some cases.
I can't imagine how helpless that makes you feel.
It would be nice if you could afford to do the things for and with your children that you desire to do.
I feel for you that your family was taken from you, you seem like a great dad.
I will pray for you whenever God brings your situation to mind.
Jesus' blessings on you.

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It is very unfair I agree. Why not get a lawyer or at least get some counseling from a professional like a pastor. Since she divorced you, this isn't right. God bless.

The truth is divorces with children involved don't work out. The children suffer a lot along with the parent who is getting the bad deal. But you remarried too, right? Good you go to the sports events, but is that the only way you can see your children? You should be able to take them on outings sometimes too. God never intended for couples to divorce. This is why we have "til death do us part" clause in the marriage vows. Holy matrimony should be taken seriously. Pray and seek the face of the Lord continually.

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