Im depressed a lot how can i get happy

im only happy when im around my boyfriend and my horses. when i was 3 my parents got divorced. i have and do harm my self. i am also sucidle all the time i am also bisexual but i am scared to come out and say it. the other day my bisexual friend asked me if i was bisexual and i had to lie and say no now its making me feel even worse. (NOT doing counselling) (NEVER)

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