Sometimes the person you married is not actually who you really married because of change in behavior. That is; when people get married their character change and end up not behaving the same way as they did before getting married. Staying with a person for so long may also make the other person to look different or start realizing some things which you could not notice before.
I wouldn't say that is always the case as it depends strictly on each individual. Another thing is people change regardless as they grow and get older and also like Lucy mentioned above sometimes you don't always necessarily know the person like you thought you did. The saying "The Truth Always Comes Out" When someone is putting on a front to impress another person, regardless of what they portray when you first meet them, their true colors eventually show the real them. Not everyone turns out to be this way but you also have to keep in mind that the case may also be that you, yourself is the one that has changed or it could also be the both of you. Hope this helped!
3 months ago
Last edited at 2:50AM on 9/10/2013
There are a couple of ways to tackle your question.
1. Pretty often you marry Mr or Ms WYSIWYG. That means, what you see is what you get. In that case, no surprises.
2. Sometimes one partner relaxes after marriage and stops trying. I've got my spouse, now I can be/do anything I want.
3. Sometimes one partner marries for advantage or money. When that happens, the marriage is likely to become a commercial arrangement and it's easy to grow apart very quickly.
4. Sometimes one partner wants to share around the goodies, and nothing kills a marriage quicker than infidelity.
5. Sometimes, to borrow an idea from Billy Joel (who won't complain because he pinched it from Carl Jung in the first place) you marry the Stranger. You've seen part of their persona before marriage but not all. Then when the stranger emerges you wonder who it is. But, as Billy says, we don't always let our loved ones see the stranger in ourselves.
Humans change as they grow older and mature. Its a fact if life. Im sure you arent the exact same person you were ten years ago or how many ever. Marriage doesnt change this fact. Maturity changes people. Life events change people. This is why you take your time getting to onow someone BEFORE you marry. You dont jump into it lime its a game. You make absolutely certain its a person you can GROW with. A person you love at a deep enough level you can accept growth, change and maturity both in eachother and in the relationship between you. If you agree to marry someone believing he/she will always be exactly as they are at that moment and that youre relationship will never change youre better off not getting married.