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My two boys don't keep their room clean and i don't mean just their toys I've cleaned it so many times please help...

I have no idea what to do! I've tried grounding them taking away their toys taking away their tv spanking them nothing works! I am a clean person but their room looked like something out of hoarders with moldy food empty drink containers dirty dishes and clothes i am at my wits end. I've told them to clean but they refuse to keep it clean what can I do? Please help they have a good life a roof over their head food in their bellies clothes toys to play with any advice would be a godsend

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Hi Sweetie. I raised 3 boys and I totally know how you feel. You need a plan and you need to stick to it. You've begged, punished, cajoled, threatened, ad nauseum. Now they must abide by your rules. Time to get tough. While they're gone, go in and take everything but the furniture. Yes, that's right. Bag that stuff up. Store it in the garage or your closet. As mentioned, put a basket out for dirty clothes. No fun stuff- TV, games, devices. NO food allowed in room. Dining at the table only. They must put their dishes in the sink or dishwasher. If there's a mess, make them come back and clean it. They know Mom will back down, but don't. You either be consistently tough, or you lose. Think about taking their BR door off the hinge for a while. NO TOYS. You've warned enough. New rules....if they keep a clean act, they get ONE item back. Honey, if you don't get tough and mean it, you're going to be a doormat. You don't have to yell/scream, but stand by your new rules. I know how they push. Best wishes.

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Thanks it's nice to know someone else understands! My boys are 8/4 and I have a two month old also a boy I'm a stay at home mom but that doesn't mean my schedule isn't hectic they just totally take everything for granted well except for the baby lol
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Mom is that you
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It'd be nice if you could delegate this to their father. I don't know your situation, but you absolutely MUST get tough on your rules. They're walking all over you. I'm not judging, because I've been there. They exhaust you, and take advantage of it. Yes, you love them, of course. But they're going to out-energize you if you allow it. Set your rules and be consistent. Now you have 3 of them! Just like me, haha! Get control now, ok? You don't have to be a crazy dictator, just follow through.
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How did you keep your sanity lol?
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I didn't. That's why today I'm stark raving mad! One thing I'm fond of saying is that boys go crazy around 11 or so, and then usually gain it back around 18. Seriously, we have to stand up for ourselves. We're battling various degrees of prejudice towards women from different sources. From the little boy who thinks girls are yukky, to the media, some people we know, and so on. We are not maids or janitors. I hope you're able to treat yourself sometimes to alone-time and get some pampering. Just stand up for yourself, and they'll respect you more, ok?
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Good advice Sue.
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@Bigguy; Hahaha! Hope you appreciate your Mom.
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Thanks, nerosmom! Appreciate it.
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Make a rule. Whatever they leave laying around, you get to keep it all

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Store all the toys somewhere and they only get one at a time. Put baskets in their room instead of dresser drawers to help them organize (it may be to complicated). Get masking tape and tape off sections of the room, this works especially well if they share the room. the taped off areas are zones. you can create private spaces and shared space. Stop looking at the whole room as needing cleaning and only look at the zones. They may be better able to comprehend the smaller spaces if they can name them. Your job is to check the zones and keep track of their progress. It will be work for you but it is much better work then the yelling, grounding and spanking.

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Thank you I will try this I hope this will work i have told them i will now inspect their room daily
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just don't clean it eventually they will realize what a mess it is and how discusting it is . .. also put a Landry basket In and don't clean their clothes unless they put them in it if you have to do clothes cause you have to take them places find some that are too small/ ones they dont like and wash them make them wear them till they start putting their clothes in the basket

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My four year old thinks he's a model or something and changes his clothing constantly this is hard as we have to go to the laundry mat
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If they are teens you should try taking their phones away. DON'T GIVE THEM BACK. If you cut off their social outlets they will feel so lonely that they will do anything to try to get it back. It's underhanded but it'll work. Good luck too you

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Try telling them if you have your room clean in a week, I will buy you something. My dad does this to me all the time! The thing that got me to clean my room was that I got to pick it. Set a price limit though to whatever you want to spend on them.

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You have boys its time to get tuff. Sorry you can't be there friend you have to be the mother. And when they say their going to run away say you'll pack their bag.

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Actually my four year old says he's gonna buy a new mom
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Ask him if he needs some $change. I thought my mom was the meanest person earth. But I loved her more for it.
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Boy i hope so thanks
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How old are they? Did you begin teaching them to clean up when little, with end of toy time, things back on the shelf?
If they're laying around tv/gaming and leaving food, take away prove ledges.

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They are 8 & 4 yes we even sang the barney clean-up song
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Don't let them go out with their friends or play with toys without picking up 10 things. It will be slick and span in no time!

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My mom used to keep the door closed, no friends in the house, and a sign on the door said city dump. We were not allowed out of our room until it was clean except for meals and school.

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Impressive! I will try it thanks
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sometimes she would get so frustrated she would pull everything out of closet and drawers clean dirty or otherwise and pile it on the bed to make it impossible NOT to clean.
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