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chellybelle21

Is it appropriate for a female co worker to always touch a younger female's arm a few times a day? One reason why was to feel my sleeve.

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Putting a hand on your arm or shoulder is perfectly normal ... but let us know when she touches your thigh ... If it bugs you just say that you have this thing about being touched.

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HeatherSyl

Some people are just the touchy feely type.
Talks a lot too; Right?

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chellybelle21
Yep but is wonderful
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good call Heather
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HeatherSyl
My neighbor is like that. I'll be changing the water in the backyard bird bath and she'll come over to chat yanking my sleeve in the process. Really talks a mile a minute too. But she is really positive and sweet
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She's just friendly. If she wasn't insulting your clothes, it's not weird.

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If you are uncomfortable with it, the first approach is to respond in a polite way that the behavior makes you uncomfortable. The coworker may not realize that what she is doing is bothering you, or may not realize that it COULD bother you. If the behavior continues, that is when you consider bringing up the issue with the boss or with HR.

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She's probably not aware she's doing it or making you uncomfortable. Some people are just touchy/huggy types. There's nothing wrong unless you feel it's odd or gets inappropriate, I doubt it's going in that direction.
She's probably excitable and happy.

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Does she attempt eye contact when she does it? Maybe she's saying she's interested, if you know what I mean.

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chellybelle21
Yes and she rubbed my arm to feel the material of my shirt.
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Kenneth may be onto something here chelly... could definately be a move move
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chellybelle21
Kenneth, if you are implying you are interested in me, nothing will ever ever happen. I'm engaged alright?
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Sounds almost like a popular Taylor Swift song.
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i am one of those "touchy, feely" type people. I am aware, however, that some people become uncomfortable with that. (i am also a hugger). i always ask people if they prefer not to be touched or hugged, then try my best to honor their preference. i have on occasion touched someone in random conversation, and then immediately stopped and apologized.
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consider that she has not realized that she is making you uncomfortable, and let her know in a nice way that this bothers you. maybe have her read this thread.

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I can be a toucher too, but the time(s) that I apologized made the other more uncomfortable than had I mentioned nothing about it. The apology implied I knew I had done something untoward...
I say, be yourself, but not forward and intrus
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intrusive*
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oh, i agree. but i know this fact about myself, so i bring it up when i meet new personnel at work, and straight out ask them to let me know. so it is after i already know, that i will forget and apologize then.
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Nowhere did you say you felt uncomfortable with this behavior, so what is it you are really seeking here? approval to accept this petting?

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you only need to read the question to understand that this makes her uncomfortable. the way in which the question is worded, and the tone of the question both tell me that she is uncomfortable with the touching.
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I hear what you're saying, however, her responses to other input would indicate otherwise. But I'm not there so it's all speculation, oh, wait! that's all psych doctors do - speculate.
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in all reality, all anyone on ask.com can do is speculate, since none of us "are there", none of us know the entire story or background, and can only hope that we help with the knowledge, understanding, and hopefully, empathy we give.
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Well said!
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