Last year I wore a name tag that said "hello my name is maybe". I've seen people go as a smoke detector, bedside table, opposite gender, penguins, Telly tubbies, gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe, I have seen people go as an iPod The list is endless. you could also walk around with a cooler labeled brain..
Well if you're really desperate, and at the end of your rope, if you're under 18 just wear a sign that says "jailbate for reprobates" or just "jailbait" alone. (More poignant if worn with skimpy attire)