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Am I depressed?

I am a 17 year old white male, and my life is going no where. I flunked out of my freshman year of highschool and my life pretty much stood still since then. For the past two years I've been sitting at home, sleeping all day and staying up all night, pondering stray thoughts. Lately my thoughts have been getting quieter and darker, reaching into topics such as purpose and fate. As far as I can see, my life has no purpose and I'm destined for failure. I can't think of anything I might be good at, or have any interest in; I easily lose focus and have a hard time finding pleasure in any activities. My confidence has been on he floor since the day I stopped going to school, moving farther away from people as I sit at home all day, by myself with nothing but my constant thoughts. I can barely say "Excuse me", to a stranger who might be in my way, without shaking like a leaf. The reason I'm looking for answers online and not at a clinic is because I'm too afraid to even admit to my parents that I have masochistic intentions. Every night I have at least one suicidal thought; One idea that it might actually be beneficial to everyone else if I just stopped existing.

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I'm the exact same way as you sir. Exact. Same. Way. The reason why i live is because of love, and friends. Oh, and goals. I'm a girl of honesty, rage (lol), love, and many other things (mostly good). But it seems to me sir that you like to write. Your words are written very very well. Have you thought about writing books? Both non-fiction and fiction? Because it also seems you like to write a lot.

To answer your main question. Yes, you are depressed. I just got out of the stage you are in and let me tell you, that stage is hard as hell. But i tell you, it's worth survivin in. I almost failed freshmen year and i'm about to fail sophomore because i am now lazy (i SORTA don't care).

If you need a friend to talk to. Your looking at one. Perhaps i can bring you into a chat you may like perhaps. :)

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hmmmmmm............sounds like. need to have a talk with your parents as so they can help you get the help you need.

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You are srill young you need some kind of guidenece where you are back uplift and someone who can give u positib energy. You need to weight your options. You also shouldnt feel that way because you still have a chance to do anything you want to do. Dont have a mind setting that its too late bc its not have a mind setting that its not to late and you going to tryit again.everyone have a postitve purpose of why they are here

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your depressed just find something make you feel happy and get on with your life

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Thats what his trouble was. He can't find it
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Sounds to me more like you are feeling sorry for yourself. Get your GED. Go back to school. You do not have any goals. Of course you are feeling depressed!

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sounds like you're spending to much time alone

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Force yourself to learn, no matter how stupid you are. That's what I do. It sounds like you have the time to. The usual school is not for everyone. I was always way slower than everyone else, and so began to fall behind. Once my mother took me out of school and let me learn at my own rate, I began to do better. I see this was not your process, but you still have the time to learn yourself. Now, at 21, I am close to having a B.S. in Physics. 4-5 years ago I would have never thought of such. It's not because I am a genius, but rather that I have worked my ** off. Most of the time I actually feel quite stupid. It's determination.

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That would be hard as hell to me.
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As Kain said, you're a very good writer. Even I'm jealous of your writing and I like to write all the time.

I would suggest the first thing you do is try to find a job. The reason you may be depressed so much is because you have the same routine every day and nothing ever changes. While you're finding a job, I would suggest doing something new. For example, I normally ride my bike to the library 10 minutes away. A few weeks ago, I rode it to the one that was 40 minutes away.

Don't worry about college. My brother in law dropped out of high school in his Freshman year and he's the most intelligent man I know and makes plenty enough money. Yes, you are depressed, but I think you should try to do something new.

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So from here you are at the gate of success you just need to take steps to climb it.....most people who fail do remarkable thing and succeed like anything in life.
my sentence is true....The great albert einsten failed..Thomas edison don`t have formal schooling failed 10000 times while making a bulb.
You sit and think for some time why you failed revert back study well you might fail again because improvement is not a one night job.Have goals.have passion,build your building by the stone thrown by others..its time for you.
you are feeling depressed because you want to improve.
Believe in hard work no one can make you stop...not even God.work like anything on this earth no one should work like you..you `ll win because its you.good luck.TC.
true subject is not getting score how much can you apply is what matters.....

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Only a licensed healthcare professional, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist, can diagnose you regarding depression... Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain... Although these intelligent members mean well, please see a doctor instead of taking suggestions from Ask members...

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I have wasted 5 years of my life to get a hold of my career. 5 years did not lead me anywhere, and I was going through the exact phase. Until now :-D

You have to free yourself from what you are doing right now and work towards what you need to achieve, which is complete the school. You are not going to get your two years back, but you are going to get your life back.

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