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My girlfriend is depressed and it's depressing me. I don't know what to do?

Recently, this incredible woman that I've been dating has been really down in the dumps. She told me she was depressed and she doesn't know why. But I know there's a reason, she just won't tell me. She has been calling and texting me that she is crying and wants to harm herself. I've had to go to her apartment a few times to comfort her. I'm really worried. I love her so much and I don't want her to be like this. Seeing her crying and threatening her own life is making me depressed. And my son is getting older and I don't want him to see me depressed as I once was when he was an infant. I'm afraid that he'll be affected by it. I offered to take my girlfriend to therapy but she says that she doesn't need it and that this is just a phase. But I think it's much more than that. She won't tell me what's going on and it's worrying me. I really don't know what to do. I love her so much and I wouldn't want anything to happen to her. I really need some advice here.

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okay i think that you should talk to her and see if you can get her to open up to you and maybe talk about the past and see if theres anything shes trying to avoid dealing with and i really think you should express your concerns about her to her and let her see how this is effecting you and maybe you should bring your infant son and let her hold him and see what happens normally people seeing a baby makes them feel better if that doesn't work then you know its something shes not dealing with and shes shutting down and just trying to let her depression take over her and maybe therapy will work but sometimes people don't feel comfortable with telling a stranger to them everything in their life so i think you should try it first and see if you can get her to open up and i know what shes going through and i shut down a very traumatic part of my life when i was verbally abused by my grandma and i shut down like that so it could be something like abuse of any kind im not sure but give me an update on her and we can take it from there and i'll tell you what to do next good luck i hope she feels better and over comes this depression

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and it didn't get any better by putting it off and denying there is a problem. I have been on both sides of this equation, have you? Attacking me wasn't a wise choice, this isn't about us , but them. calm down. yes i do get depressed, but I don't threaten to harm myself, nobody would listen to me if I did (in a good way).
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yes and people come on here for help and not somebody whos going to call it attention since when has that ever been an okay thing to say to somebody who has his gf on the verge of harming herself? did you see that or did you just not look at that at all or did you not see the seriousness of this?
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yes, I am addressing that very situation by telling him to not let it get swept under the rug. when ppl don't let ppl sweep it under the rug and face it , there is less chances of them harming themselves. DUH. You have serious issues too....i think you need help as well.
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and he already said she WONT talk about it...did YOU not see that?
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i saw that and hes not sweeping it under the rug does it sound like he is? no
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It's not just a phase, ppl don't threaten to harm themselves and then 'get over it'. you should tell her you're not gonna sit around and watch all of this. i know it's hard but you will have to be the stronger one if you want this relationship to work. yes she may be looking for attention but I think it will only get worse if you don't step up....do you really want your son to be around this in the future?
meaning that she gets the help she needs or you bow out until she does, she will just play your sympathies if you let it go....been there and done that ( jus being supportive and nothin else)

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okay she has to admit shes depressed and needs help and thats hard to do cause they think its just going to go away
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shes not looking for attention not that way
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shes depressed and your already judging somebody in that shape and saying its attention what kind of person are you to make that kind of judgement? they have people suffering from this all the time and they aren't looking for attention its an illness and it should be taken seriously and not as just attention shes trying to get
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when this happens to you i hope somebody says your just looking for attention and give you that kind of advice
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calm down; I was addressing all aspects , and I said may be looking for attention. I have been there for others and THEY just wanted attention. it won't get any better if he just holds her hand and doesn't face this demon. You are the one judging, not me. I"M TRYING TO HELP
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and I think the other answerer was judging more harshly than me...where are your comments there?
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then cut the damn attention crap cause this is a real illness that people have suffered from and they committed suicide so what do you say to the people that have taken there own life cause of depression?
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i don't appreciate somebody calling depression that has his gf in a life and death situation and not take it seriously
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this isn't about you. this situation has to be addressed, she wants to sweep it under the rug...nothing good will come of pretending it's not serious. you should listen to yourself !
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Guys its okay try to look from each others prospectives and understand each other! :)
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I'm being attcked here; and I do understand...BTF has to take a chill pill, I've been trying to tell him/her that I've been on both sides and it never goes away by itself and ppl who say it's no big deal usually at the very least want sympathy and the very most are dangerous to themselves. Attacking me was uncalled for.
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Why is it you let unstable person into your life when you, from previous questions, say you have custody of a child? She doesn't sound so incredible.

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She wasn't depressed when we met. She didn't show it at least. She is still incredible to me, but as a good partner, I'm going to help her get through what ever she needs to get through. She loves my son, and as far as I can tell, he loves her too. She is amazing, you just have no idea of the things that she's done for me and the way she talks to me. It's so...compassionate and understanding. She's very incredible, and I won't ever doubt that.
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No matter how incredible she is or isn't you gotta get out for your son's sake!
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Before I even consider getting out of this relationship, I'm going to do all that I can to help her. She's in a time of emotional pain, I'm not going to "kick her while she's already down" by leaving. She needs someone who loves her, and dammit that's going to be me. Besides my son, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I'm not letting that go because of this. My son is in good hands, I'm not going to let him see her the way she is right now. I'm a good father, I will always try to keep him out of the way of these problems. Always.
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Carebearii you cant just stand there from this note and judge this man's gf from what you've heard! Im 14 and i know this!! You need to realize that this is serious and he will do anything to help his love!!!
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And you too HarvestMoon!
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Thank you Jacynta.
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A 14 year old is defending you. Does that tell you anything? You don't even know what the problem is! I am happy to hear you are keeping your son away from everything. You should show her all these responses and see if it spurs anything in her how horribly this is impacting you and the way people responded. You sound like a good guy I hope it works out for you.
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Its a tough spot to be in.I think first off you have to be sure you are taking care of yourself .If you get wiped out you can't help anyone .Hang in there.

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Thank you.
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Nooooooooo First off he needs to take care of his son! The one that didn't ask for any of this craziness!
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I think it's a given that he's going to take care of his son.I'm speaking of people he's not required by law to care for.
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Run fast

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I know this was supposed to be a funny answer but this poor man is in a perdiciment!
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It sounds like you really love her and she has helped you thur alot too so she needs Professional help you need to make her get help period I would tell her that you and your son her and for your sons sake she needs to go and talk to someone because it puts your son a Risk and your Custody of him at a risk he could be taken away from you if you can't project him from her so you have alot to lose so please get her help

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I'm going to try as much as I possibly can because I do really love her. She's gotten me through a lot not I need to do the same for her. I just don't know how. I've tried to convince her to speak to a therapist, but she won't even speak to me about it.
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She may be depressed from all the routine in her life,
I say go together for a trip,
It will change your moods :)

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That's an idea. Thank you.
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No problem :)
Or you can bring her flowers and chocolates.
Everybody loves that when they're depressed.

Hope I helped :)
Best of luck
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You've helped. Don't know how anything in my life would end up if it wasn't for the users on Ask. There are some amazing people here. Thank you.
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try to take her out to do fun stuff to get her mind out of there

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Just be sure to put your child's best interests first. He should be your main priority.

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Very solid advice:) !
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Thank you!;)
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usually theres a reason, she might not even realize the reason yet. ive had really bad depression since a horrible break up, and its also kinda messing with my relationship. first she needs to figure out the reason then figure out how to move on or change things. it does help me though to go out doors, like the park or something.

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she might of cheated on u n don't know how to tell u

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She wouldn't cheat on me. We love each other way too much.
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angelwolf

Ritter. Listen, I believe that she is dealing with stress in her life. You must try to figure out what is stressing her out. Ask her what do you really want to do? What are some dreams that you think you can know longer have? I did this for my guy last year. Cause he said what she said you, he said that to me but only once. He wanted someone who wouldn't let him down and lie to him and break promises to him(people did that to him so he was sad and angry). He wanted to learn how to some of the things I know how to do.to talk with me more, for me to make lunch for him and eat with him more , to teach me some of the things he knows how to do. In our busy daily lives, sometimes our loved ones need more attention and you need to find the time to give them that attention. I gave him all the attention he wanted and he is still alive today because I made his dreams come true and I will never ever let him down cause I promised him I would always be there for him no matter what. Do this for her and really find out what is missing in her and give it to her.

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