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How can I reword this?

"The young attorney became distressed by the indifference of American corporations to the global consequences of their actions"

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The indifference of American companies to the consequences of their global actions distressed the young attorney.
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Funk and Wagnall would say to remove the state of being verb and make the action direct. Also, removing the subordinate clause "of...actions" shows the proper word order and emphasis.

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Still_Phil

Read it like eight times, dawg. Don't hate it, who says it needs re-wording?

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so I don't plagiarise
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Still_Phil
Well OK then. The way to not plagiarize is to editorialize.

[attorneyname], who had a conscience that transcended exclusive American interests, became distressed at the indifference of myopic national companies ...

I could do better but not today sorry clgorn. Hopeit helps



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shinypate1 gave the perfect answer.

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