Submit a question to our community and get an answer from real people.
Submit

I'm very shy. How do I get over that and learn how to approach people?

Friends and boys.

Report as

Start with little things. Say good morning or hello to someone in the elevator. When you pass a teacher in the hallway, ask how their day has been. Small things like that will build your confidence.

Helpful (11) Fun (2) Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Just talk to kids,teens,adults or whatever just say hi and you might start a little chatting session.

Helpful (5) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

How about becoming more approachable? I would think that after a few times of being approached you will gain confidence then have no problem approaching others.

Helpful (3) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Hmm, good question. I'm the same way. A friend told me you have to get out of your comfort zone. I still havent done that, but I try: ) The only people I'm not scared to talk to are people on ask: )

Helpful (4) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (45)
Report as
Me too... i get nervous when i talk 2 people & my confidence bcomes 0. And that's probably i don't have friends in real life.
Yeah,Ask.com is a really good site 4 interacting with other people.
Report as
I agree.: )
Report as
Yes, you have a whole different personality out of the internet lol! I'm also shy.
Report as
I've realized that. I'm not terrified to talk to you, but anyone else in school, i won't talk to them. I'm to scared. I'm even shy at home
Report as
Yeah. I'm not shy at home, but i am quiet. Anyways, how are you today Artemis?
Report as
Hello i'm a shy guy too and was looking 4 making friends over ask.
Would u people become my friend?
Report as
Of course I will: ) I'm doing good NorwayUSA. How are you two?
Report as
I'm good too.
Mysterio, yes!
Report as
thanks .. i'm fine too
Report as
Hello people: )
Report as
hello!
Report as
i'll be on again after 2 hrs.
Report as
Ok: ) I'll try.
Report as
Hi! How are you guys doing now? I've been off for a while.
Report as
i'm good... it's been raining continuously here 4 the last 10 hours. :)
Report as
Yeah. It's foggy right now where I am on the California coast.
Report as
hello norwayusa! :)
Report as
Hi! How are you today? :)
Report as
i'm good.. how about you?
Report as
hello r u there?
Report as
I'm good too.
Report as
so what r u thinking of 2day?How will u spend your sunday?
Report as
So...uh, how old are you? Or are you grown up.
I'm 13
Report as
i'm 16...not too older than u..
Report as
My Family and I will go to Church...i don't know what else.
How about you?
Report as
well i've spent the sunday at home and had fun with some friends who had come over....
i live in the east so i'm 12 hrs earlier than you! :D
Report as
what r u doing now?
Report as
I'm just kind of sitting around researching stuff and chatting with you.
That's Cool you live in the east coast. I actually was born there. (NYC)
Report as
Actually i live in a place worser than that.. i meant the near to the east of the world-india
Report as
Wow...that's even cooler! Sorry, usually when people say east, i assume they mean eastern USA, lol.
So you're Indian?
Report as
yeah...
Report as
and what is taking u this long to rply to comments?
Report as
So sorry. I was researching stuff.
That's Cool.
Report as
...my Family is thinking on moving, so I'm researching some stuff about it.
Report as
whats cool?
Report as
India?
Report as
In any case i'm tired today and have 2 go to sleep... talk 2 u again maybe tomorrow.. OK? :)
Report as
Yes India.
Report as
Sure. Talk to you later! :)
Report as
Ofcourse your not scared to talk to people on ask u don't know who they are and u can't see there faces, but still its a good first step
Report as
im shy TOO~!! :DD
Report as
I agree King_Viku. How is everyone: )
Report as
...I came back a little late. Hi Artemis and mysterio and everyone.
Report as
hello.. i rarely am able to chat bc of the odd time zone here.. its just the opposite of you..:/
Report as
Yes, i realize that. But it's still fun to chat when we can: )
Report as
Add a comment...

Bake a batch or two of chocolate chip cookies and bring them to share. Pretty soon people will be saying "link12320 makes the BEST chocolate chip cookies!"

Helpful (4) Fun (1) Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
aww give me some lol
Report as
Add a comment...

Take a chance, and keep doing so. As for boys, aren't they easier because they tend to like girls easily?

Helpful (2) Fun (1) Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

As an elective, take a class called Intro to Theater, Acting 1 or Improvisation.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

have a couple of drinks

Helpful (1) Fun (2) Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

mhm, yeah just take a chance.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (4)
Report as
I am the same way. I guess you just have to get over the feeling the best way you can. I've gotten tons of advice from different people and none of them has really actually worked. I just had to make up my mind and do it myself. That's the easiest way I can suggest. And you know what......? It worked!!!
Report as
i mean later your gonna be asking yourself "what if i'd have done this", or "why didn't i" or "i should've " and trust me nothing is worse than feeling regret because regret can really come back to defeat you. on the other hand, nothing greater than the "boy, am I glad I risked myself to do this". i mean youre not always gonna succeed, but you'll learn from mistakes too.
Report as
i agree dumb-kid :)
Report as
yes sir mr 619 sir :)
Report as
Add a comment...

I have been in your shoes. I used to be so shy, when I was around people I didn't know well I felt so awful and self conscious and literally could not talk at all. I'm not sure how old you are, but as I got more comfortable and got older I completely grew out of my shyness. I still stutter a little sometimes but it isn't nearly as bad. I realized that as I was put in more situations where I was forced to be around/talk to new people, I got better at it. also, if you really don't think you'll be able to talk with someone comfortably, it helps so much to have a friend or someone you do feel comfortable with around so they can help you out and keep conversation going.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)
Report as
at which age u started improving ? what age do u have now?dont mind my asking :)
Report as
I really came out of my shell in the middle of my eighth grade year. I am a freshman now :)
Report as
Add a comment...

Join Toastmasters. Look it up on the web and find a club near you. You can attend several times as a guest before deciding to join. It's a very effective way to get over your shyness. Plus read their tips on their web site.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

try chatting with friends alot in public.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

just open up an have fun

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (7)
Report as
Why would you have fun??(you are supposed to help)
Report as
happy why are you happy?
Report as
you can have a little fun in your life.... or a lot not your choice on his or her opinion
Report as
yeah your right
Report as
not trying to be rude or any thing!!
Report as
Ok
Report as
and to you why is your name DESTINY??:(
Report as
Add a comment...

i think being shy depend on the environment ur in so maybe ur not familier with it and u need sometime to figure it out and do not feel bad because there r many others like u.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Just say whatever comes to your mid first. blurt out random stuff and people will start to laugh, easing the tension.
jut be natural and say whatever you want. people wont judge you for that.

Helpful (1) Fun (1) Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

just be yourself and don t care about what people say or think & you will not be shy anymore; promis ;)

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Just be yourself!

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Just start talking. Be your self. That easy to become unshy. It doesn't matter how long you delay the talking or the moment, if she doesn't like you, she won't like you later when you say some magic words. and if she likes you, she'll like you still if you talk to her right away. Its not like you're at an interview when you start talking. However, # 1. if you find that you dont have anything to talk about, then the fact you have nothing to talk about, may be the real issue. # 2. if the only thing on your mind is pleasure from her, to the point nothing else comes to mind that you're so quite, since you can't help but to think of that around girls, then that may be the real issue it self. Yes, its possible to have both these things and not be shy at all.

Helpful (2) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage to say what you need.

Helpful (1) Fun (1) Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

lol i was a shy person to but like when you be yourself and not a fake person that would make people think more comfortable talking with you

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
are you a girl
Report as
Add a comment...

Count to 3 and do it. Whatever "it" is. Just do it and you'll feel amazing (:

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Try to talk with people as much as possible

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

just talk to them.The more people you talk to the easier it gets to talk. I used to be really shy but i had this one friend she just made me step out of my bubble now even when waiting in line i start to talk to people before i used to be afraid.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

take it step by step :) little words big words:) with the guy thing though make sure he knows you and everything then go up and say hi and get to know him (as soon as your comfortable)

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
lol. name!!! i love it
Report as
Add a comment...

Confidence, dude, confidence. Easy!

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
lol
Report as
Add a comment...

fell like u are right start with saying hi good morning

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (2)
Report as
aww cute pic
Report as
thanks
Report as
Add a comment...

what do you say to giving a nice smile to people around you?

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

just say yolo befor you do any thing

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
awww you only live once that the moto
Report as
Add a comment...
FarwaAyaz

try explaining your self in front of a mirror that's the best way to overcome shyness and gain confidence .other than that just be your self because you are what you are and its better that way be the first one to start conversation and chat a lot with your friends don't care what other people will think or say about you. so put a smile on and approach people with confidence! you wont fail.:-)

Helpful Fun (1) Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

i don't know what to say

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
then dont answer
Report as
Add a comment...

i think the reason of being shy is not having confidence in your self try telling your self and more important believe in your self and all the rest just rolls out for you and for having confidence find good stuff about yourself that no one else does it would be a great help trust me!

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Be brave, and be yourself.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
really? lol
Report as
Add a comment...

Everyone is a little bit more easygoing when they have a drink or two...

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (3)
Report as
having a drink what do you mean by drink
Report as
Right David?
Report as
lol
Report as
Add a comment...

try and say hi to 1 person every day
chat with them a bit
and BOOM easy friend

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (3)
Report as
hi..
Report as
lol but hi
Report as
hi destiny :)
Report as
Add a comment...

Close your eyes breath and seek the truth listen to your favorite music and you will seek everything be alone and seek faith and that will help you and do this 5 times a day then it will help you trust me i was shy and i did this and it worked maybe you are just having a hard time and you need to relax just com down it helps

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Have crazy ass friends!!!!!!!!!!

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
hey!! sister/ brother is down there !!!
Report as
Add a comment...

Get a job as a host you will ask the basic questions the job requires. people will talk to you and over time it will become second nature.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

The only thing I can say is, you must be a guy...

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

I'm shy too. All you have to do is find someone nice and say hi to them. Then you should be able to start up a convo with this person

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Develop conversational skills. Making conversation takes effort—especially if you’re shy. But you can do it. The key is to (1) listen, (2) ask questions, and (3) show genuine concern.
“I try to be a listener rather than a talker. And when I talk, I try not to talk about myself or put others in a negative light.”—Serena, 18.
“If a person wants to talk about something that I’m not familiar with, I’ll ask him to explain things, which will hopefully make him talk to me even more.”—Jared, 21.
Perhaps you’re reserved by nature, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to turn into an extrovert! But if you feel that you don’t fit in with others, try out the suggestions in this article. You might come to feel the way Leah does. “I’m a shy person,” she says, “so I have to push myself to converse. But to make friends, you have to be friendly. So I’ve started talking.”
More articles from the “Young People Ask” series can be found at the Web site www.watchtower.org/ype

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
Good answer Brother/Sister :-)
Report as
Add a comment...

It never is easy. Sometimes you need to open up a bit. But not to much. when you see someone new just start with a "hello" or make up a conversation.

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

count to twenty and in that twenty you do whatever the heck feels right now remember your the one counting so you can have that twenty last forever or just twenty seconds if you want and the only rule is you have to do it more than 5 times ex. find crush 1 go get wingman 2 remember not to be nervous and dont forget to breath 3.4.5. go to crush.6.7.8 remember what you were going to say 9. 10. 11. say what you were going to say. 12.13.14.15. get answer 16. 17. 18. accept answer 19. walk away before you explode in excite ment. (it's embarrasing if you do that in front of them trust me)

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
great learn from the master people lol jk
Report as
Add a comment...

1. Be yourself and 2. Be self-confident in whatever you do!!

It'll automatically attract people...

Hope i might have helped... !!! ^_^

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

1st u talk in front the mirror automatically u become perfect..

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (10)
Report as
cute pic!!
Report as
thank u
Report as
wait boy or girl
Report as
you are a girl!!!
Report as
nope boy..
Report as
oh right
Report as
well you are still cute
Report as
thank u
Report as
wait is that really you
Report as
ss
Report as
Add a comment...

1 jump on them
2 attack them
3 TALK TO THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Helpful Fun (2) Thanks for voting Comments (3)
Report as
Why would you do that?
Report as
lol
Report as
lol what
Report as
Add a comment...

Learn to embrace rejection.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Believe in yourself and have confidence try the breathing technique, I'll give you some steps.
1: say good morning to a clasmate.
2: ask someone about there day at school
3: ask someone to be your friend.
4: repeat step 3 and if someone says no to be your friend then just say ok I understand but remember its mostly about selfconfidence

Helpful (1) Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

act like you are having fun thats what i did

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Act Like Nothing Is Bothering You And Just For Starters, Say Hi :)

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Be confidence In yourself, find people you feel more comfortable to talk with first

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

You may worry about how others will perceive what you say or do and retreat into yourself and just say nothing. Shyness can also cause you to feel that what you have to say is not as important or interesting as what others are saying so you don't share your personality with others. Remember that your own unique personality is one of the best things you can share with others. You don't have to turn into the most talkative person in the room but be COMFORTABLE enough with yourself to know that what you have to say is just as important as what others have to say. Listen to others and this will help you know what they like to talk about. Do not expect perfection out of yourself as no one is perfect. Be friendly,genuine, and honest and remember that everyone is special including YOU. Do not let the world miss out on what you can contribute to it by holding it all in. Moses was shy also ,yet he lead the Israelites out of slavery and stood up to a KING. You can do GREAT things with prayer, confidence, and love for yourself and others. Since you do not like feeling shy pray to Jehovah God about it as he wants you to be happy and have friends too.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (1)
Report as
The same answer goes for friends and boys. Boys are going to want to be around the real you will want to see your personality just like a fiend would. Do not try to be someone you are not, just a more comfortable version of yourself. Be the best you that is possible not mimicking other girls and remember that just getting attention is not the same as getting friends or guys to like you. :-) I hope this helps you. Think positively of yourself.
Report as
Add a comment...

Start with your smile! But before that comes your attitude toward being a blessing to otheres!

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

just be yourself for 1 & breathe let it flow.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Think more outward than inward. In other words, think more about the people around you and less about yourself. Then, start asking questions (not too personal, of course) to generate conversation (i.e., how their day is going; how was their weekend, what's their favorite restaurant; how their pet is doing, etc.) Something in their response will probably lead to something else you could discuss. Most people like to talk about themselves.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Be confident in yourself

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

start by saying hello to them or practice in a mirror or a friend

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Start opening up to people! Take a chance!

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

enroll yourself to short courses such as personality development and public communication...

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

20 seconds of bravery

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Just be your self an you will do fine

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

hold your head high and even if you know you don't have any confidence act like you do. You'll gain it after a while

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

well one just take deep breaths and say to ur self that you can do it and u will find ur self doing it

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

did you try on-line dating? you talk on-line, know person better and until you decide to meet you are more or less comfortable with the person ;)

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Don't be yourself, the worse advise ever. Get on internet Chatrooms, flirt there alot, pretty soon it becomes your personality and who you wish to be. Habits turn into who you are your character.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Well, it really depends on what you're shy about. Try to examine that because usually when you're shy, you're fearful of doing something wrong or just embarrassed about something. Another reason for being shy is that you really like someone. Try to figure out what's the cause and think critically or rationally about it so that you can overcome it.

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Well first you should talk to male friends and ask them how do you act around them. If they say you are a really cool person and you don't seem shy towards them then look at other people that you do not know the same way

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...
thisgirlhere02

Well just start with the small talk. That small talk will then lead to a conversation. Just don't be shy to be yourself and go with your confidence in your conversations. I usually have the same problem too and the small talk really does work. Hopefully it does for you too :)

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Try to get More comfortable with that Person and let loose If that does not work, Try another way to communicate with that person. Examples:Via Text, Via Email or letters

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...
drhelp

just put usually in your mind that no one is better ,, and try to invade some social activities ,, also try to look for more easy and more compatible friends ,, till you become more brave to deal with all of the different minds people ,,

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...

Stay lean back, they will come to you. Me and my sister have done that and i met my best friend still to this day!

Helpful Fun Thanks for voting Comments (0)
Report as
Add a comment...
Do you have an answer?
Answer this question...
Did you mean?
Login or Join the Community to answer
Popular Searches