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So here's my question...My dad has been abusing me and my brother & sister for a LONG time..I just wish he could go away...What can I do?..

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Call Child Protective Services in your area, Don't wait for it to happen again.

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Thanks You guys ^^
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How has anything been done yet, Waffle_Man?
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Forget the "How" in my last comment. Sorry, it's late.
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Call the police

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Call the cops or child care protection programs.

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Call the Child Protection Service, if you really believe he's gone too far.

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ANY amount of abuse is "gone too far".
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Leave and get help from someone

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Call child protective services! Is there another relative you can stay with? If so pack up and leave right away! Abuse is never okay physically or verbally. I wish you the best!

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Do u want me to call child abuse?

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You mean Child Services?
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make your mom put him on child support

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Tell someone sweetie!

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Call the police when he is not home (or leave your house to do so) ASAP! Don't let him know you are going to do it; just do it NOW! Get a restraining order on him. Your family is in my prayers.

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Talk to your teacher or counselor

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Tell your brother to kick his ass big time never call protective services it makes things way more horrible permantly trust me I've been through this

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good answer i was wondering if anyone had a brain. glad to see at least one did
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Child abuse. But make sure he is abusing you like if he spanks you with a spoon after you did something that's not abuse. So just make sure.

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It is NEVER okay to hit a child. It's just sick how people go around saying that an adult should hit children half their size. Him/her and his/her brother have every right to protect themselves.
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Spanking a child isn't abuse my dad and mom did it when I was little (when I did something bad). And now I thank them for spanking me it taught me a lesson. Now I NEVER do anything bad because I know that even though I'm older they will still do it. But it's bad to hit infants or hit to hard.
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Well, just because you like getting hurt as a child, doesn't mean it's okay. Truthfully, it doesn't make a long-term difference. It makes a very little short-term difference. It's because kids don't think with the same part of their brains as adults do. As you get older, you begin to think with the logical part of your brain. That happens naturally. Hurting a child won't speed it up.

As for when they are older, unlike you, parents don't hurt their kids. I'm surprised you still take that, instead of sticking up for yourself (physically). Teenagers "disobeying" their parents, and going with their own thoughts is something that happens naturally as well. It's because they are becoming their own individual, and acting on their own thoughts. Parents need to start "letting go", because if not, when are they going to start letting their son/daughter think for themselves? On their 18th birthday their going to know how to make their own decisions themselves, when the day before they were being controlled like a 5-year-old? Plus, you didn't learn any communication skills for working things out. And, if something wrong was going on, teenagers wouldn't dare to be truthful with their parents.
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Oh your one of those people who think if someone tells there kid to site down a little to loud then it's abuse. good parents teach there kids that's what there for and to take care of them and feed them and once they are old enough they have them do chores a little spank makes them cry then the parent comes in and tells them why it's a lesson and everyone needs to learn in there lives. And I do NOT rebel against my parents they are the bosses right now they take care of me and all I have to do is clean my room Avery once in a while I think that's a good deal. And it is unbelievably painful for the parents to watch there kids cry but if that's what they need to do and i forgive them for it and i even thank them for it.
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I never said that telling a child to stop something a little loudly was abuse. Constant yelling isn't good though. No child needs to be yelled at everyday.

What I am saying is that hurting a child isn't okay; it doesn't matter what your reasoning is. If it was that unbelievablely painful for that parents to hurt their children they wouldn't continue doing it. I guarantee you the child is in more pain. I've seen parents who have literally had to cause their child pain because of his medical reasons. Trust me, there is a big difference. So, don't tell me how sad a parent must be while they CHOOSE to hurt their child as though they have to. Think logically and morally back to when they chose to hurt you. Forget how they told you they had to do it, because that is a lie. Did it feel like you needed that pain while they decided to cause it?

What your parents did to you was wrong, and what you will do to your children will be just as sick. It's nothing to be thankful for. They have taught you that it's okay to hurt kids. Think about that fact alone, and tell me again how it's okay that they taught you that it's good to hit children half your size. Infact, they taught you that you NEED to cause children pain.

Also, as you can guess, I have never been hit by my parents and I still respect them. I love them very much for all that they have done for me. We may disagree once and awhile, but nobody's perfect.
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I think you saw parents doing it in a bad way my parents on the other hand did it in a good way they didn't do it to hard they only did it on the bottom NEVER the face or anything like that. And they did it out of love I would have been one bad kid if they didn't do it.

you have seen parents abusing there children because they are cold hearted I never saw my parents do it when they where angry or upset in any way.

and they rarely did it only when I did super bad stuff and I deserved it too.
and they are definitely not some cold hearted people that get drunk all the time. My parents are the two best people In the world and thanks to there good teaching I want to be a police officer so that I can keep them and everyone safe.
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Honestly, I don't see how you could be a bad person if they hadn't. You were just a child. When children do something "wrong" it's not because they are a bad person. Like teenagers, it's because they are young and they make choices based on emotions. Kids' brains are not developed enough to think past that. Hitting a child with a wooden spoon IS a hard hit. Especially when you are younger, and more sensitive to pain. You must not have thought very hard about what I've said. You don't choose to hurt someone because you love them; that sounds like something only an abuser would say (in any situation).
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If they did not spank me I would have been a bad kid because I wouldn't listen to them and would have gotten older and still not listen to them end would of went down the wrong road. At the age of 5 kids personality's start to show and Is when they really need to learn from life but my parents didn't spank me till the age of 6 so I had time to learn that they are the bosses and I would have to listen.
and every time a got a spank then I would learn that what I did was wrong and that I can't do whatever I want and so now if they say can you take out the garbage I go and take out the garbage the first time they ask me.

and a spank is out of love because when they would spank me it was hard for them and they knew it would make me a better more responsible person so they had to do it.

and it didn't hurt that much it was like a slight sting. It hurt them more to see me sad and I would cry but my dad would pick me right up and give me a big hug. And then we would get a treat. But it is wrong to hit a child under the age of 6 that is very wrong.
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First of all, it's wrong to hit ANYONE at any age (unless it's in self-defense).

If it was hard for them, they wouldn't do it. They don't have to. Nobody needs to hurt you. They would chose to hurt you, then give you a treat and a hug? What? I can't even try to make sense of that. That shows they really do think they have to hurt you. That's messed up thinking. I've seen parents who really have had to see their child in pain, and who've had to give them treatment even though it hurt them more. There was nothing they could do to stop it. That is heartbreaking. And, you think it's the same thing as a parent chooses to hurt their child? That is unbelievable. Really, I don't understand how someone can think like that.

Not taking out the garbage when you are 6-years-old is not being "bad" enough to get hurt. Infact, your parents already had a pretty well behaved kid for not throwing the garbage all over the house and playing in it.

I don't see how getting hit with a wooden spoon wouldn't hurt that bad. If it didn't hurt, why would you cry in pain? Why were you that scared?

Just answer these questions for me, then take a look at your answers: Is it okay to hurt people, other than in self-defense? Is it good for an adult to hurt a child, and hit them? Maybe you'll understand what I'm saying.
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They would give me a treat because I would understand why I got punished.
sorry I don't understand the second one.
and I only got punished if I did something SUPER bad, like punching my brother multiple times (when I was 5.)

It was more of like, lets say someone takes away a kids candy, that kid will cry.
I would cry about anything.

no, but only this one circumstance.

only a spank, NOTHING more.

I just was raised to not do wrong, or there will be a punishment, that's why I have never done any jail time or anything like that.

sorry it took so long to reply, ask.com told me that no one commented.
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You were raised to believe that it's okay to hurt kids. You don't need to hurt someone to keep them out of jail. When you say that you never do anything wrong, I find it hard to belive. I have never been in jail, and nobody has had to hurt me to keep me out of it.
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Well I'm not saying I'm perfect, but the worst thing I have done is lie that I brushed my teeth when I was 5.

and I wasn't raised to punch kids, spanking is a whole different thing.

yeah, but I think everyone would be a better person if they got spanked as a kid.
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Spanking isn't a whole different thing. It's still causing pain. You're belief that you must hurt someone for them to be a better person is very wrong.

Hurting a child and thinking that it's okay IS doing a bad thing. A much worse thing than lying about brushing your teeth. Now, you are telling someone who is being hurt that he has no right to protect himself. Just because your parents think it's right doesn't mean it is.

And, your story is conflicting. You just said the worst thing you have ever done is lie about brushing your teeth, but earlier you said that you punched your brother multiple times.
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I was like 5 and we both would do it to each other but then we got a little to serious, and it was more of little kids slapping.

I was saying about the brushing thing, when I got a little older like 7 or 8, that I learned that it's not ok to do bad things.

actually it is very different, spanking is way better then yelling, and it's not anything like punching because, one is letting out anger, and the other is teaching.

no, it's teaching someone that no matter how old or young something's are not ok.
and my family is not the only ones who think it's right, I mean I would think it was wrong if I never got spanked as a kid, because it sounds like punching a kid but it's soooo different.
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By leaving a red mark, you are drawing blood under the skin. Punching or slapping, it's still hurts. You just made a very valid point. If you were not taught that it is okay to hit someone, you would realize it is wrong. It only takes one generation to end it.

My mom never hurt me. She would send me to my room for awhile, then she would tell me what I shouldn't be doing. That was good enough.

My sister and I would fight as well. I can't remember any specific physical fights, but I know we had some. We got over it. Same with temper tantrums. I don't think you realize the difference between a child's brain and an adult's brain. Children (as well as a teenagers) think with the emotional part of the brain. This means what they do is out of emotion. As people get older, they begin to think with the logical part of the brain. Hitting them will not rush this process any faster.
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But it's right, I was saying there is no way to explain it unless that person was spanked as a kid.

but still help to spank a kid for really bad stuff, I'm not saying little stuff like not washing the car on time. (that's more of a sent to your room thing.)

it's like training a dog (there still a little different.) you have to build it's habits so when it's older it will be well trained. I'm not saying you should spank a dog because that wouldn't help in that case.

yeah we would only fight when we where like 5.
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I know what spanking is. It's when you hit a child who can't do anything about it because the adult is bigger than them. I don't need to be hit to know that it hurts. I've been hurt before (Not on purpose. Stuff like falling, dropping something on my foot, growing pains, a stomach ache, etc.), and I promise you I got the hint of what pain feels like.

Pain should never be used to teach someone a lesson. You're parents have taught you that you should hurt children half your size. That's not a good lesson to teach. I don't care how good you think you are. Someone who thinks it's okay to hurt someone and feel like they are doing a good thing will always be a (to say the least) dissolute person, in my book.
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It's not agony like a stomach ache where it hurts where you can't sleep.

if it helps then it's not wrong if it will keep you happy and healthy then its probably good. (of course not stealing to that list)
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It may not always be long-lasting pain (often times it is, especially if done with a belt), but it still hurts.

It actually doesn't help at all. Like I said, you can't change the way your brain works. When they become teenagers, they will still not take parents control into much consideration, because they will begin to become their own person and make their own decisions (as I already explained).

Keeps you happy and healthy? Yeah, getting hit with a wooden spoon is probably very healthy and happy (yes, that is sarcasm). Hurting someone is not keeping them happy or healthy. I can't believe people really think that it is, and I have to explain to someone that it isn't okay.
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I think using a belt is a little extreme, my parents NEVER used a belt.

but it's not all science and math, people have souls not just brain and emotion, and that's what makes it work.

and if it will keep kids in line then yes it will keep you that way.
it doesn't do damage, so there healthy, it will keep them responsible and be able to take care of them self's when there older, so happy.

and I also have to explain to people how it will give there kids a better attitude.
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Kids don't need to worry about "staying in line". They should learn good behaviors and habits, but they shouldn't be doing it through fear. You probably don't realize this, but it doesn't take much strictness to teach a child good behaviors than it does to keep an adult "in line". Even the task children have are much less serious than those of an adult.

Doesn't do damage? It leaves marks. And, most of all, the fact that I have been trying to get through to your head, YOU ARE CAUSING A LOT OF UNNECESSARY PAIN to someone who can't do anything about it because you're bigger than them. (Referring back to my fifth comment) It doesn't make them a better person. It gives them the phycological damage of wanting you hurt their own kids, to the point where it's as thought they think that they can not physically stop them selves from hitting them.

You are not explaining how to give kids better attitudes. You are explaining how much you like parents to hurt their kids.
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They learn by going "oh when I do bad stuff I get a spanked".

what it doesn't leave a mark, I think you watching to many movies.
if I thought it was bad then I wouldn't think it was good.
and it teaches them bad and good, it teaches that that can't do bad things.

I'm saying how good it is for kids, and how there is no mental marks on children there are no scares, it's all teaching.
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Like I said, it's an awful way to teach somebody. Not even murderers can be punished with pain (well, there is the death penalty, but that's a different story).

It does leave a red mark for a certain period of time. Just because your skin seems to have a magic effect of not getting some kind of mark when getting hit enough for it to sting.

Every person heard from about spanking (I assure you it's a lot) it has always been the same story of "pick a switch". Even some schools paddle their students. I have talked to a guy who was raised with the "you learn to respect people who hurt you" (at first he said "abuse", then he suspiciously took it back) motto. He said he leaves hand marks on his (about 2-year-old) daughter all the time. I've seen a person tell a fellow mother to rub Tabasco sauce on her son's gums as punishment. I assure you these kids didn't get hugs and treats afterwords. Perhaps you don't realize how far "spanking" typically goes. When you say that you agree with it, that is what you agree to. Maybe your parents didn't hit you as hard as what people usually would, but that is confusing when comparing it to the scene you described when you talked about it.

Then, they say that it is out of "love". That sounds like something only an abuser could come up with (in any situation). As I already explained, when they are teenagers the parents have lost their physical control, and it won't stop them from listening to their minds instead of their parents, so in the end their really isn't any gain.
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It leaves a red mark for like one 1 second, I think that guy may hit to hard if it's there for like 1 minute.

well they would hug me after sending me to my room, and the treat thing was like Avery once in a while.
I know how people do it and I do agree with it.

my parent never lost control when I was a teenager, i never even see that happen to kids who got spanked (not saying that it never happens). I gained respect, responsibility, and even more.
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The first and second part of your comment seem to contradict. You said that if a red mark last for 1 minute it's too hard of a hit, but you also agree with the parents I mentiond, who obviously leave a red mark for more than one minute.

Like I said, you don't need to hurt someone to teach them respect and responsibility. "Respect" should be a generalized thing. It should be shown by kindness and helpfulness to all. You don't need to hit someone for them to realize that everyone deserves respect. "Responsibility" should be slowly gained as they get older. Realistically, kids don't need a ton of responsibility. As they get older, they will need it to accomplish their goals and take care of themselves. They need guidance (not "punishment". Taking care of yourself is not a punishment, so it shouldn't be treated like one.) and a little support at first. Neither one if these (especially respect) should be treated negatively. Bad things should be treated negatively, but not through physical punishment. They should know the reasons why bad things are "bad". The only reason why they think it's "bad" is because they will get hurt. This reason can't last forever.

Well, I've never seen kids go down bad roads just because adults have never hurt them, unless their parents just don't care very much about being a parents overall (sad to see kids end up in family's like that). I'm assuming you have more of a type A personality (it has its benifits and its down sides). I do as well. My sister is has more of a type B personality so far, yet we were rasied the same way.
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I'm saying I agree that they spank there kids.

that's what parents try now, the whole don't yell don't spank be sensitive, it doesn't work, that's why kids these days are disrespectful.

all kids do bad and good you can't be perfect of course, but spanking helps kids learn faster and easier. Your right not every kid is bad if there not spanked, but they have more of a chance of being worse if they don't get spanked.
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I never said it wasn't okay to verbal tell them to stop. However, yelling on a regular basis isn't a good idea. Eventually, they will just pick up on the habit of yelling themselves. It's the same with swearing. You can't expect your kids to hear swearing all the time, and expect them not to do it.

The disrespectfulness, I think, is more from the older kids and teenagers. Being from a different generation, you must have realized that many older kids and teenagers have been this way. Once teenagers being to think for themselves, "because I said so" is no longer a justifiable answer (actually, I never think that's a good answer to leave someone with, at any age. It's just going to turn into an example of "curiosity killed the cat"). They can not be tied down and physically controled all
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Sorry, I accidentally pressed the "Submit Comment" button.

As I was typing, they can not be tied down and physical controlled all of the time. It's actually a normal and natural process. It's the process of no longer clinging to your parents, and becoming an individual with your own thoughts and actions. However, combined with the fact that teenagers tend to think more on emotions, rather than logic, and parents telling them what to do and what not to do, it creates conflicts and disputes.

Spanking kids does not increase their chance of doing bad things. For one of my relative's kids, it was the exact opposite. When I was very young (about 2-years-old) one of my relative's kids (at about 12-years-old) would get frustrated whenever I did something (mostly accidental) and my parents wouldn't spank me. She would ask "Why aren't you hitting her!? I get hit all the time, but she doesn't!". Eventually she couldn't come around anymore, shortly after I kept getting "mysterious" cuts and bruises. In fact, she even did things to make it look like I was hurting her. It goes to show, that hurting kids is taught generation to generation.
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It's definitely not ok to curse in front of kids and it is bad to yell at them all the time, but I was saying most people that don't approve spanking say kids should be able to do whatever they want.

not with me, I think most parents don't do it right.

not spanking them will make them be a little more disrespectful, so it does effect it a little.

sounds like her parents didn't do such a great job, that's why it takes more attention as a parent to be able to do it.
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Not even people in jail who have committed terrible crimes can be hit as punishment or to be 'taught a lesson". It is considered "cruel and unusual punishment". Your idea is to do it to an innocent child.

Hurting them does not change the amount of respect kids have. It increases their fear of you, and fear is differnt from respect.

My relative's daughter was spanked the same way others would be. There in no "right way" to harm someone (other than in self-defense), so your idea of parents not hurting their kids the right way is contradicted.
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Children need punishment. You can't just yell at your kids, you can't take something away from them, you can't give them a reward if they don't be bad.

they respect you for punishing them and showing that they can't do everything they want, kids need a punishment.

I think they didn't say why they spanked her, and she just thought it isn't fair.
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Time outs and taking things away is punishment. Eventually, they will understand that they won't get things by being bad and that the parents are in control. You can't hurt people just because you control them, and you can't control people by hurting them. Kids can't do whatever they want, mainly because they are kids. They can't go out and commit crimes or anything.

Obviously, if my she thought it was unfair, it was because they hurt her at a young age. There isn't a reason why you should hurt a kid. The only reason why someone would hurt a kid is because they want to.

The feeling of getting hit with something as hard as an adult can hit isn't a feeling that should be felt.
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It's the only way they will learn, you put um in there room and they just play or sit.

well I never was jealous.

it should be felt if they need it.
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Not if the parents make sure they are in their beds (if it's a young child, they shouldn't need to be in there for THAT long anyway). Eventually, they will learn that their behaviors will not get them anywhere.

They don't not need it. An adult does not need to hurt a child (perhaps in self-defense, but I can't really imagine a child attacking an adult like that. If so, you have bigger problems on your hands). I have seen parents who have actually had to hurt their kids and see their kids in pain for medical treatment or in bad situations. I assure you that is much different than a parent who hurts their kids because they want to.
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Or they will learn when they do something bad nothing really happens.

well if there child is about to die of course it's different, spanking is to make them a better person.
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No, they will learn that when they do bad things, they have good things taken away (not food, clothes, and stuff like that. Like toys, T.V., etc.). In life, that's what will happen. The negitivity brought on by certain behaviors will also help, because doing those things when they are older will be looked at negatively by others.

I don't mean dying. Being in pain doesn't make someone a better person. Ironically, you are being a "bad person" for hurting someone else, because they are younger and weaker than you. If you teach a child it's okay to hurt someone, you might as well teach them it's okay to do whatever you consider "bad things to do".
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When my parents sent me to my room and took away TV I didn't care and I just was stubborn, because kids are stubborn Intel there parents teach them wrong from right.

if you spank them they think "oh I don't like getting a spank" then they stop doing it.
if they are younger and weaker doesn't mean you can't discipline them, when there young that's when they learn the most and they need to learn at a fairly young age so they know right and wrong.
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I'm sure there was something your parents could have taken away that you would have cared about. T.V. was a big deal when I was a kid. I watched it all the time (not so much anymore). Looking back on it, T.V. Probably shouldn't have been so important to us. There was probably better things we could have been doing. But, that's another story.

Anyway, of course someone is going to think "I don't like getting hit"; that's why you don't do it. It's not a matter of KNOWING what's right and what's wrong; it's a matter of DOING what's right and what's wrong. It doesn't take much for someone to learn that lying, stealing, etc. is bad. It turns in to a common sense thing, really. When adults do something bad, they know they shouldn't be doing it (unless they were raised believe that doing bad thingin is okay, like how you were rasied to believe it's okay to hurt people). And, they think with enough logic to stop themselves if they really wanted to.
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Abuse is a serious thing. Contact the police or child protection.

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abuse is UNACCEPTABLE it is NOT ok for any person especially an adult to emotionally or physically abuse anyone let alone a minor the next time he leaves the house call CPS and call the cops. if your mother is with you have her call a locksmith and tell them it's an emergency and change the locks. if your mother is not around then call a family member A neighbor are in adult you trust don't you try to print them on your own because it can get bad quick you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers

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Call the cops.

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Call child protective services the police, 911

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Are you sure that you're being abused? Be sure to research the definition of abuse in your area. You need to be 100% sure about this. If you find that you are being abused, call CPS. Also, talk to your mom. She has a right to know your opinion on the situation as well.

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he might not have one
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have what?
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a mom
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oh. doubtful though
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why?
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