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blc0015

Could my mother legally do anything after i turn 18?

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while. I am 17 about to be 18 next month and he is already 18. We have planned on leaving the state of Mississippi to go to New orleans to get married, then come back..( i graduate this year in May) he's already graduated.. We have already been told by his dad and his mom that they approve. but my mom on the other hand doesn't like him. Once i turn 18 and go get married i will be moving out her house because her and everyone (please don't think this is selfish for saying....) but everyone is nothing but drama. i don't want anything to do with them. my dad lives 900 miles away and has told me that he doesn't want anything to do with me as well. my brother is 15 today and he even told me that he wishes i was dead because i'm the "black sheep" in the family. and my sister lives 900 miles away as well with her twins. Her and her fiance had both said that they don't want anything to do with me.
so my question to you is.. could my mom do anything to stop us once i'm 18 and move out?

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No, there is nothing your mother can do .. legally once you are 18.

However .. there are bridges here, that you really need to consider. Once you cross over, you may not be able to go back...without even more drama...drama that may involve your future children.

As a mother, I can only imagine the reasons why your own mother is not supporting this marriage. As a mother, I would have my doubts too. As a mother, I would be concerned about your reasoning to just run away and marry someone like this. I would be concerned that you are being so insistent for the 'right' reasons'.

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As a woman, I understand your excitement and ambition to get married ... It IS exciting, and it does change things .. I know, believe me .. I was married at 18 too... right out of high school. But .. I married because I not only loved this man, but I liked him. Both our parents were reluctant (for good reason), but supportive. He was (and still is) a very loyal person... but, even with it all looking so rosey .. there were never any guarantees. There were many trials and tribulations to endure, but because we got married for the 'right' reasons ... we at least had half a chance.

Remember, if you are not marrying for the 'right' reasons .. you limit your chances before you even get started. THAT is what I'm thinking your MOM may be thinking.
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You turn 18, you can do what you want;)

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The reason your mother is upset is because unlike a 17 and 18 year old she can see around corners that you two do even know are there. Listen to your mother.

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orbdamu96

no, because when you turn 18, you're a legal adult and your parents have absolutely 0% control of you

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You are misinformed. That is true in most states, but not all. Mississippi is one. You need to be 21 to get married without parental permission. In Alabama and Nebraska it is 19.
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orbdamu96
well that's pretty f*cked up
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That's why their going to a different state
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If you stay in Mississippi, she may, but I am not quite sure. In Mississippi you have to be 21 to get married without parental permission, but since you are going to LA to get married, she won't need to give her permission. I am just not sure if she can contest it once you get back.

I understand your life is hard right now, but I want you make sure you are not getting married to escape your family. If it is, it won't work out in the end and your life could be in a bigger mess. I am not judging, just giving a word of warning.

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blc0015
i have thought this through many many times for the past 2 years.
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There isn't much she can do. You are awfully young to be taking the leap. I wish you the best and get settled before you start having kids!!!!

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CaptainSparrow

The drama could intensify by her attempting to withhold all of your belongings when you return. At which point you need simply call the police and have them accompany you to gather your property. Now with this, you will have to prove that it is in fact your property, your mother may claim that she bought it and therefore owns it (clothes, furniture, gifts, etc..). Personally I think you need to ask her why she has a problem with him and try to level with her, as well as the rest of your family. A strong family connection can be your closest ally. You should then try to smooth things over and correct whatever has been pointed out. Sometimes there are aspects that you cannot see from the inside that others can obviously (Mothers are particularly good and this).

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CaptainSparrow
Once you see all of these things, you need to double check that you are ready to be with this person for the rest of your life. See if there is anything making you rethink it, if so, you need to talk about it with your boyfriend to resolve things before they get too deep. As for your family disowning you, if they still hold to that after you try to figure out what is wrong, you have no choice but to leave. Family can be very stubborn and in many cases will not back down easily. You can only hope that they will realize what they are doing, hurting you and your future relationship. Other than that, your mother has no legal authority over you when you become a legal adult, therefore she can only make your leaving difficult. I can expand further if need be.
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blc0015
There is no talking to her.. Out of us 3 kids i am the only one who actually opens up to her and askes her about things. I'm more adult than her, if you think about it.. But she will not listen to me anymore.. i was talking to her this morning and i asked her what is going to happen when i turn 18 and she said"well you're moving out" She has told me that she doesn't want much for me anymore.. She's more focused on my brother. she has told me that she has given up on me.. I have thought my plan out over and over the past 2 years and i'm making my decision when i'm 18
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CaptainSparrow
I feel for you having to go through this. You have done the right thing by trying to communicate and resolve the problems, for which I commend you. I can only hope and pray that you find happiness and solace in your future marriage and with your future in-laws. I would suggest getting close to his family, as this will become your family soon. One more thing, please wait to start your own family. Give yourself a couple years to get settled and enjoy each other in a more intimate way before you try for babies.
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blc0015
Thank you! Also The relationship between me and my future in-laws are great. They have adored me since they have met me. I Do not plan on having kids for a while. put emaphis on "a while" i want to have a good steady carrer and apartment/house before i begin to think about that.
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CaptainSparrow
Yes. It sounds like you have this on track in the right direction.
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Nada.

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Before you make the big jump, you really should have a sit down conversation with your future in-laws to find out how supportive they are going to be. Are they going to just "not interfere" or are they going to welcome a new daughter to their family with open arms. It really helps if you have some sort of support mechanism from somewhere - especially if you are not getting it from your side.

But on the whole, your mother will be out of the picture as soon as you move out. I would also recommend you slowly start moving things (things important to you) out one-by-one to a friend's house so your mother does not use them to hold over you.

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no she can't stop you from getting married because you will be of legal age. if I were you I would give it a whole lot thought before I do something so drastic with my life.

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