Is it ok to write this in a college essay?
"?Over here, please,? barked one of the judges. She was a short, stout woman. Her voice reminded me of the the roar of a terrible beast, about to consume an entire village. "
The point is to convey how much the woman terrified me, and how nervous I was. My father thinks that it's insulting, and that I should remove it. What's your opinion?