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Why do dads always leave their children? :/

i havent seen my dad in 10 years . i was thinking the other day how do they have the heart to do that? why have kids :/ i cry myself to sleep sometimes wishing he was here because i know your dads your first love ,<,3

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I'm really sorry that you're so hurt and upset by your father's absence. You need to know one thing without a doubt - none of this is your fault. It's also not your mother's fault - he abandoned both of you. Your father is an adult (even if not then he was soon after) & he's made his own stupid and selfish choices. Any excuse he can give doesn't justify leaving you and not staying in touch - c'mon, how hard is it to send an email? If he and your mother had problems, he still could have stayed in touch with you. If he didn't think he was mature enough or able to support a family, how'd he think your mom would do it all on her own? Its entirely his loss. You're a great person and he's missing watching you grow into an amazing adult. At least you were lucky enough to have an amazing mom who could have also chosen the easy road but instead chose the difficult road just to be with you. Even though the stress of it all may get to her sometimes, never forget that she loves you. The best thing you can do is live a happy and successful life, chosing a partner the exact opposite of your father, and raising your kids in the loving care of a father who's there.

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maybe they have started another life somewhere else, i know it sounds bad but they probably just forget about you when that happens.

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because they obviously weren't ready to have a child, but weren't thinking about that while they were having their fun.

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lulupop735
I get it XD
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I just think they aren't father material and are just selfish. Really it's their loss because I love my son and would never leave a part of who I am.

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I am sorry to hear that , but dads do not always leave . Time will heal all your pains but if you can try not to think about it, that will only make you sad . Never try to find a guy like your dad either because you do not want a guy that will leave ya

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Seems like you answered your own question.. If you have to ask "how anyone has the heart" to do something, the answer is chances are they dont have a heart. I suggest find your dad and ask. Good luck

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dads dont always leave my dad never has nor dreams of it. my mother left so its not always dads. im guessing she was tired of being a mother and the responsibility that's why i refuse to have children im afraid ill feel that way

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i was just about to say that it is sometimes the woman and not the man til i read your comment. As having children is very important, please don't NOT have kids because you are afraid. HEARTLESSNESS is not inherited. It is the CHOICE of taking the easy way out. there are always two sides to every story so I hope that you havr a chance to hear her side before hating her. Sometimes parents are addicted or seriosly mentally sick and want the best for you. (not usually the case but possible). You choose your actions. Just because kids at your school are playing with drugs or worse doesn't mean you also do because everyone else is and might laugh if you don't. don't take the easy wsy out. dontmake excuses blaming it on what life has dealt you.i learned that a little too late. get envolved in church. gives you something positive in this crappy world. good luck
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i dont hate my mother and she came back for about three years then she grew tired of me again so she kicked me out. and shes bipolar and that can be inheited so im still scared
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If shes bipolar it would actually be go for her to go. you don't really want to hang out with someone who flips out every 2 seconds the in the morning shes offering coffee.
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she doesn drink coffee and you're right i am glade im not there cuz i always had her bad side i was almost convinced she hated me
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ExhaustedLove

some are not man enough to take care of there responsibility that's why I really dislike teens getting pregnant cause theres a 1% chance the father will stay & take care of his baby & 99% chance the father would leave & the baby does the same exact thing that happened to him another chain reaction you know...hope you feel better I don't know how it feels but I'm sure it hurts

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he might of got scared when he realized he couldnt handle a kid . most guys dont get extremely attached like mothers do. also not only guys leave there children . if you need someone to talk to im here.

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hey its all good along as your ok and healthy ihavent seen my dad since i was born tell me about it he doing life with no parole but its all good my mom has been both for 16 yrs.......

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If you want the mature answer then here ya go there are 2 answers:

1. there Wives are crazy and they cant stand them a very reasonable answer but when then men leave their ex's say either:
A. they did drugs
B. they are poor and want a high paying rate out of child support

2. Here's the bad reason:
A. the man ARE drugs and they accepted drugs rather then there wife
B. all they want is a woman to sleep with
C. you get the point

But there also could be other reasons

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not all dad"s do that, but i think some ppl do that cause they werent ready for the responsibility,and was afraid! but if your mom is also your dad, you should be proud of her, and appreciate her, cause is not easy being a single mom. good luck!

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Nice answer
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The dad wasnt ready to be a dad. But you cant always blame the parent who left. The mother, or physical parent has to be sure this is it, hes the one, ask questions, plan, see if their on the same level etc. it takes two people to plan a child but many times people do the do, a child comes, and then the oops come- i wasnt ready, he wasnt ready etc. i know the feeling- my dad left when i was born. Im 27 now, finally asked him why, he answered truthfully and said "because he wasnt ready to be a dad". My mother said she 'thought' they were both ready. An area people lack that kids suffer in the end. Hang in there. Take your frustration and pain into lessons, what NOT to do when you have kids. Goodluck!

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I know it hurts dear, but if he had issues maybe it was to your benefit that he left. If you are able to contact him, maybe you can ask him.

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they dont i have been with my dad since i got out of child protective services

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Not all of of them do that mines did but hey............

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or maybe he just found another female and choose to leave with her not even thinkin about what he left behind but wen u see him and tell him how u feel i bet he will just let the tears flow

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Some people just don't care and leave because they think that everything is a burden, or they wish they had never gotten married and had children to begin with. And when they leave, people call them dead - beat parents.

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Because they are mean.

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fritzmerde

Dads do leave, fathers don't. Viper6 sounds like someone trying to rationalize something they've done. Their is no excuse, period. Many men have no idea how to be a parent, many because that was the situation they grew up with, so for them, it's easier to continue the cycle rather than break it. It is a big responsibility, & nobody really knows how they'll react until they have children. Sadly in the US, family life, children, & the elderly are often thought of as an anchor, something that isn't worth the amount of work needed. I honestly don't know how anyone can justify abandoning their children. When I walk out my front door in the morning, before I've reached my car I already miss them. Today men & women think it's no big deal to pop in & out of their children's lives, they're wrong but denile is a great shield. The thing that is important is you. You didn't cause the problem, your dad has a problem. Maybe someday he'll grow up & figure it out. It's okay to be sad,just make sure you don't bury things away, & know it's not your fault.

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The important thing to know is not why, but that it had nothing to do with the unique individual that is you. Unfortunately in life, we are all burdened with various forms of injustice but it is our perspective that determines what we make of our own situations. I am sure you are surrounded by many people who love you dearly and you can either live life mourning what you don't have or enjoying what you do have.

I'm sorry your "father" never turned out to be a "dad" and I hope you can eventually gather any lessons from it and leave the hurt behind, life is too short to allow so much emotion to go to someone who expressed so little. Good luck!

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No father is designed to leave his kids and then not all cowards weak in their Constitution meaning the foundation they were raised with makes it easy for them to detach themselves from their kids, because a lot of them did not have a mother and father figure or two people who for through the difficult times of their relationship to teach the bond of life. No discipline is the first crack in the foundation. Not knowing how to love is the second and third is a primal instinct to protect your young until they can protect themselves.

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There are many reasons dads leave their kids, but all of them are wrong. I think they do not realise how important they are in a child's life and they think it doesn't matter and the kid will be better off without them anyway. A lot of dad's don't believe they can do a good enough job as a dad.

I think once they run away, they just think they can't go back, because everyone would hate them for leaving anyway.
But whatever the reason your dad left, you are not to blame. It is his stuff that made him leave, you did not do anything wrong. Maybe you can go find your dad and talk to him when you get old enough to look for him.

God bless and take care.
Sincerely, mamatembo53

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