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How can I tell my husband that his mother is visiting too frequently and get him to understand that I need down time?

My mother in law lives 1 hour and 20 minutes away and visits twice a month for an entire weekend. I work 40 hours per week and do not appreciate the extra work that a house guest creates. My parents live in the same area as her and they come visit for just the day and drive back at night. His mother has barged into our bedroom even though the door was closed tight, because we were sleeping too late and she was worried. She also takes over my couch and basically my house. She has brought other family members along with her when visits but never bothered to ask me if it was OK. His mother is coming again this weekend and then she'll be back on Nov 27th and this time she will be staying until Dec 1st. It's like by the time Monday morning arrives, I don't even feel like I've had a weekend. His mother doesn't work so she's on vacation all of the time. I just feel like I'm running a bed and breakfast out of my house. My parents are also angry with her too frequent visits. I see her more often than I do my own parents. Any advice?

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OMG - just reading that makes me want to throw up! How can you stand it? The cost alone of dealing with it makes me cringe! I can't even CONCEIVE of this. It is ridiculous. It is 1 hour and 20 minutes for gosh sake! GO HOME!!! And send him with her - you need professional advice because this is totally unacceptable - she will be moving in soon - she may as well.

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Go visit your parents when she comes for the weekend! Someone may get the hint. Seriously you should talk to your husband and share your feelings, hopefully he doesn't take it too personal, this may be hard for him to deal with too but you have to discuss it with him before it takes a harder toll on your relationship! Best of luck!!

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Have him read this.

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That's tricky. What would happen if you had plans for the weekend that she wants to visit? I think you need calmly explain to your husband what the problem is and ask him to help you to sit mom down and talk to her. She must see a united front or you'll be blamed for her hurt feelings.

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I value my weekends for getting errands done. You see I can't leave those 2 alone. I have over heard conversations where she tries to manipulate my husband into helping her pay for things. She has no concept of how to manage money. Well I am not her bank and I am working for my future. My husband and I have bills of our own. It is not my responsibility to take care of her. She's already racked up credit cards and had to file bankruptcy. She gets widows social security payments but still chooses to not work. It's all very frustrating!
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Sit Mother in Law Down and Her Momma's Boy and Tell Them Both --- I Love You Both to death and Wouldn't want to Hurt either of You /// But // This is My House and it Will Be Ran With and In Harmony and Peace //// and Your Weekend Visits Twice a month are Too Excessive and Dwindles Down My Husbands and My Home Time and Quality Time // and Must be Limited to Once a month and On them Weekends You Will Respect Me - My Home - Privacy and Wishes // Including Our Sleep Time -----

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Is your husband also upset with her frequent visits? If so you should just go ahead and tell him, if he enjoys the frequency of the visits then try to say it as gently as possible, or even have him bring it up by implying that it is annyoying.

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No unfortunately he's not upset with her visits. I wish he was! He tells her that she can visit whenever she wants to. Well I'm not OK with this. I'm not running a hotel out of my house. She basically takes over my house which I find disrespectful. What she needs to do is go get a job and a life.
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I feel ur pain. Seriously I feel like we have this in common. Good luck! Remember it's not unreasonable or mean to feel this way. u married ur husband not his parents.

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She also likes to be wined and dined on my dime. Needless to say this gets expensive and we can't afford to keep doing this. But my husband won't ever say anything to her. Whenever I have brought up her visits, he'd rather fight with me about it, then to say anything to his mother. I just have never felt so taken advantage of in my life! If I wanted to be in the Bed & Breakfast business I would've opened one up by now. She basically gets a free weekend getaway on me and I'm tired of it. Ugh!!!!
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Yeah frustrating!
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