I am sorry to hear about your predicament. Unfortunately, I would not advise trying to "get him back." for one, once he realizes you want him back so badly it will be very easy for him to take advantage of that. And you may say to yourself, "I don't think he would do that." But people can surprise you sometimes when they feel like they have power over you.My advice would be to move on. Encourage your sons to seek and maintain a relationship with their father, but you have to look out for yourself as well. So for your own good you need to move on. There are other fish in the sea and you have to have enough confidence in yourself to believe that there is somebody out there for you. And you must realize that you too deserve to be loved and not have someone be there simply because he feels his kids need him. You deserve a man who will love YOU.
If your husband WANTED to be at home with you and his kids, that's where he'd be. Lots of kids raised by single parents have turned out well, & your boys will too. And be real with yourself-if he'd leave you once, he'll leave you again-what kind of role model is THAT for your kids? You need to get something legal in place so that he HAS to pay child support on those boys.
Kids are the real ones that suffer in these situations but it's out of your control. Your husband is more interested in himself than his kids. Perhaps he will breakup with the new girlfriend and hope to come back and then you'll have to make that decision. In the meantime get on with your life and try and keep your sons happy and hopefully they will still get to spend time with their father. If he doesn't spend time with them he will surely regret that one day and they will remember who it was that stood by them - you - not him.
Jade ^^ is right... Don't try getting him back for you... And don't try getting him back for the children... It would be a far worse situation if you somehow got him back in your lives when that's not where he wanted to be to begin with. You need to be mom and dad from here on out until he either comes around or completely gets out of your lives. There's nothing you or the children can do to make him be the man he's supposed to be. He will either step up or end up regretting this one day. But you have to be the one there for the children day in and day out no matter what. You can not control the dads behavior or lack there of, but you can control yours. Don't ever talk badly about the dad even if the boys do. Keep your feelings and opinions about the dad to yourself, let them think how they choose to think about him. Your children need you to stay strong and consistent and to show them life does go on even of some people choose to make the wrong choices in life. Be the best mom you can be and don't try to fix what you can't fix. The "Serenity Prayer" would help you if you believe in prayer. Good luck... Your children have a wonderful mom and that's more than a lot of children could dream for!
This may npt be what you want to here but it sounds like je has moved on (maybe you should too).Now on to the boys,I hope that at some point he was a good dad(any man can be a father but it takes a Real MAN to be a DAD). Tell him he still needs to be a dad,and in time find Some1 you can be Happy with.Be truthful with your sons (try not to bad mouth him).
A man who leaves his wife (who clearly loved him) and his children for another woman is not a good role model for your precious sons. Please consider what I am saying. You and your boys deserve to be treated with dignity. You deserve to be dearly loved and valued. Please do not settle for less than that, for yourself or those wonderful boys.
If you take your husband back now, it will teach your boys it is ok for husbands to go out on their wives and that a wife will take the husband back no matter what he does. This is disrespectful to women and I do not think this what you want to teach your boys.
They need to know their dad has hurt the family by leaving you, there are now consequences for his actions and he cannot expect things to go back to the way they were and neither should you.
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