Defend your wife when necessary, and if things get out of control, talk to your mother about why she dislikes your wife. You can't control your mother's actions, but you can certainly help your wife feel safe and loved.
You have to determine the source of the dislike/distrust. If your mother is being selfish ("She's taking my little boy away from me!"), then your mother needs therapy as to what a mother's role really is.
If your mother is legitimately trying to protect you ("That little hussy is cheating on you, I just know it."), then you need to ask your mother what her rationale behind such charges. After asking, then you can ascertain if your mother's concerns are founded or not. If she is just making stuff up, then you have to resort to the fact your mother is being selfish as mentioned above.
Generally mothers don't like their daughter-in-law but as time passes she starts loving her after the birth of their first baby. But it is the duty of your wife to please her and by your attitude and behaviour you will have to win her heart. Yes once she starts loving then there is no end of her love and yes she is a great help for you too.
4 months ago
Last edited at 11:59AM on 11/21/2013
Don't let yourself be put in the middle. Love your wife. Let them work out there own problems. Set them both down, tell them both you love them but you are not going to be put in the middle. Tell your mom that you married this woman and you take your vows seriously. Cause she raised a good man. Ultimately, your responsibility is with your wife. Your mom is just going to have to accept she is no longer your number one girl.
you go visit your mother alone an hour or so once a week. don't say a word, other than mom its how you feel and your choice is what it is, and so is mine. Im visiting you by myself and won't expose you to something you don't care to be exposed to, if these are the conditions you have for me. Don't go on holidays to your moms house though unless you think you should for a quick visit. those days should be reserved for your own household. mom will see that by not accepting you and your choices with unconditional love she does isolate herself.