Golly. Only someone who has experienced that level of pain can truly relate. We do not know how old they were, how long you had them and how much of life they got to experience. I was unable to have children, though I wanted them desperately. Which is the greater joy -- to have loved and lost, rather than never having loved at all? Shakespeare really did have it right. Your loss is extra great because your joy was so great. Thank God for all that joy all those years you had together.
Who can know why these things happen. Of course, we all die sooner or later. Hopefully, you have family and your faith in a loving God to sustain you.
Any local hospital can provide you a list of grief counselors and support groups. Please take advantage of them. The support groups are always free of charge and will give you the opportunity to vent as well as talk to people who have gone thru similar things. They may be able to share with you things that helped them thru their most difficult times. Don't suffer alone, seek out those who can help and comfort you.
Sorry for your loss! Agree with the above and add .Grief has many stages and anger is one stage of many to come and is no set time line as how long they last.So give it time to heal you will always carry. Them in your heart and time will pass to hurt a tiny bit less