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Why my wife doesn't have interest in sex?

It's been almost 2.5 years since we got married. It was an arranged marriage. I have a sweet little daughter of 13 months. My wife says she loves me a lot and i love her madly as well.

The problem i am facing is that i am not satisfied with my sex life and its hurting both of us.
She has fixed a schedule once a week Saturday and from last 4 months, my advances has been rejected at least 18-20 times whenever i try to have

She excuses as she is tired and feeling sleepy and we will do it some other time.

She is a housewife and i am an IT Professional. when i come back i expect something special not everyday but at least when i am in the mood.

I have talked to her about this several times but nothing has worked till now. I have told her, that is very important for me because this is the way i express my love and i don't feel anything wrong with it and it a bliss that all couples should enjoy. May be, the spark in our marriage is over or what, but i cannot digest the rejections of my advances towards her.

A storm is running inside me, and i cannot concentrate on my job and anything else.

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Wow! Sounds like this could mean one of three things (that I can think of). One: she has always been like this. Some women don't have a strong desire for making love...especially if her job is tiring. Once you think of it, making love is a bit of a workout and can easily exhaust your body. Perhaps, being physically worked out isn't appealing to her.
Two: making love is one sided. Ask yourself if your "bed" experience is one sided or not. Some women feel that if they don't get the same amount of pleasure as their mate they are being used, which can cause resentment.
Three: your wife is going through SOMEthing. What? I am not sure. Try observing her. Stress, insecurities, depression..? Whenever someone is going through a rough patch in life, they tend to lose interest in a lot of things.

The important thing is to be there for her :) show her that you love her with or without sex and that you are willing to wait til she is ready. Try not to pressure her about it. Hope this helps!

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In general, the factors that affect libido mainly in the following areas:
One is age. Strongest in adolescent sexuality. With age, sexual desire will gradually decay into old age, sexual function decline significantly reduce libido.
The second is the disease. Malnutrition, endocrine disorders, diabetes, myocardial infarction, etc. can affect libido and sexual response, severe or even complete loss of libido or sex.
Three drugs. Many commonly used drugs can affect libido and sexual function, which antihypertensives, antipsychotics and sedative hypnotics obvious.
Fourth, the psychological factor. Psychological factors have a crucial impact on libido, especially for women. If a woman feel companion care, there will be decreased libido. The best reason to go to hospital for examination is recommended to exclude the disease, the couple look good communication.

http://www.ouick.com/Related-Articles

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Well it was arranged I read....did she love you? I'm sorry to say she may just being going with arrangement. I've been with my husband 18 1/2 years and we don't have this issue.
you said you've sat her down. are you satisfying her? I don't want this comment removed, I'm being serious. you say passion, so I assume you're satisfying her before you or trying. Maybe hire a sitter for the weekend and have a getaway to see of that sparks her interest. she may have a low sex drive too. Its so hard to say.
I truly would try a get away. maybe being in the house and the baby is just too much on her right now. She may have depression too...so many factors.

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@sadiesmomma : i am trying her to feel the love. but the problem is she thinks sex is what matters for me, but she is wrong, what matters to me is she herself.

I took her to a 5 day holiday last week, but that even not worked. i try hinting her from last 3 days, but she ignores me and that pissed me so much
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i do the foreplay too, but she try to avoid it
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I'm sorry. she must know this is a healthy part of marriage and love. Its not bad. She should try the 30 day challenge. it's where you find the time every night.
it's like this. the longer a woman goes without she don't care. so if she does this daily she will see its all about love and the passion. then after she will want to do it maybe 3 Times a week. even if she gave it a shot for 3 days in a row or 7. it may open her eyes.
I do wish you the best. Maybe she thinks that's all its about. have you thought therapy in that department?
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@sadiesmomma : She knows this is important for me. I cannot tell you how much i have changed myself for her. But this is something where i cannot take a back step. She knows this very well. She noticed me upset this morning, and asked about what happened. I have explained her everything and asked her a question, why don't you understand me? She asks me in return, is this what most important to you? Well, what is wrong in it. It makes me feel closer to her. What is wrong in this?
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she says she ignores this once in a month and it hardly matters. i reminded her that i am trying this for last 3 days and this happend a week before too and 20 times in last 4 months. then she says, that i am too crazy, i note down the dates and all that stuff. But i really love her, how do i make her understand. she is a hard nut to crack
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Hey Smith, maybe you should show her its not about s3x but about closeness, by not trying to have s3x with her, all the while, helping her, by running her a hot bubble bath, putting on her favourite tunes, preparing a glass of wine, serving up her fav fruit platter, her fav book or mags. Take the kids to the park, while telling her to enjoy & relax. You could also, on your days off, serve her breakfast in bed, or make her a beverage, tell her to stay there & not to be hassled by life, worries & fear today, while you do the housework. Take care of the kids, do the washing, dishes, cooking, vacuuming, keep the children happy & entertained.
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Also, do not distance your affections for her, kiss her gently when she passes you by. Smile at her everytime you see her, notice her & comment romantically when you catch a glimpse of her. Touch her hair, smell her neck, caress her face. Don't go getting all s3xual, remember you are trying to show her its about passion & unity & being ONE as lovers. Take care of yourself while you are seducing her back into marriage bed. I hope this works for you.
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Maybe you don't explore her body enough, make her climax every time. Try romancing her, caress her, massage her, learn what she likes. If you don't do IT for her, she will do IT for herself.
Pay more attention to her, sometimes a stay at home mother feels more like a cleaner & babysitter than a sexy hot wife. You can make a difference, a marriage is not 50/50, its 100/100.
I hope you can reach your goal. Good luck, i'll be rooting for you. lol Hahaha, couldn't help myself. Peace.

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It's because you need to sit back and realize that marriage is marriage because you have to earn it! It's not something that can be arranged, and work out great.
Your wife is bored, and you need to earn her. Maannnnn...

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I am sorry but I am not gonna baby you. You seriously sound selfish! Put your needs aside and think about your wife for once! She obviously needs some time to adjust to her new lifestyle.

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3 years?
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Three years? That's a long time. Do you help her out around the house and with the baby?
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Read the book "The Five Love Languages". It is easy reading and you have a lot going on here with this being an arranged marriage, her a housewife, new baby.....there is so much to consider. I would be willing to bet this - you do not love her the way she needs to be loved even if you are loving her with all you are - the book will help explain that in better detail. But I can see where this could be it because of the arranged marriage part. Not to say it cannot work by any means but your marriage was not developed in a natural way that one just knows they are in love with this other person. If you read that book - you will learn how to understand how love works and how people love differently and how people want to be loved differently and there are 5 ways of this; of which, we all fall into one main category so you just have to find her category and speak her "love language". Example: if she sees love as time spent together and you work a lot but buy her gifts.....she will not feel loved by you. If you spend time with her but she wants you to say sweet things and call her sweet names and you don't = she will not feel loved by you. The goal is for her to feel your love for her + in the way she naturally understands feeling love and it is then she will want to have sex with you more.

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Could be something as simple as it hurts her. Sometimes after having a kid it's harder to have sex cause it hurts. But maybe that's not the reason.

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.

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When you come back you expect something special? How often do you do something special for her?. When I say something special for her, I don't mean something you personally consider special, I mean something she would consider special.

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Sounds to me like you are not romancing someone you love and women need to be romanced. Women love with their ears and it's 90% emotional. You as a male love with your eyes and it's 90% physical, so you are ready physically first, and the. Remaining 10% with fill you emotionally giving you 100% satisfaction. " Let's do it cuz I need it" is not how women want their love life to work. That works for men. Not women. You need to learn what works for women to get them more interested emotionally because the emotional approach is 90 % of the first necessary parts of getting physically turned on and open to the rest of it.(the10%) to fulfill and satisfy a women completely. Start fresh by talking to her about love, pride in things she does as a mother, fill her up with kisses and hugs and attention, that have nothing to do with wanting to jump into bed. little gifts, words of honor and appreciation, these are emotionally stimulating to a woman and help them to feel loving. Then in bed, hugs, rubbing her back , kisses and cuddling. Without doing more for a two weeks then she will fall more in love. when she relaxes with u more you will notice. Then gently approach for what you need. A little emotional food goes a long way she needs to live you and trust you and she will be yours. Don't be selfish and self satisfying. Rub her slowly and don't rush for yourself . It will happen. You get what you pay for nothing comes cheap .

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