Why did my boyfriend cry when I told him I was molested - Ask Community

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imnothing: 1 year ago

Why did my boyfriend cry when I told him I was molested?

I was high for my 19th birthday. it was my first time and what I smoked wasn't illegal. when me and my boyfriend were walking, I accidentally told him I was molested as a child. I never ever told anyone that because I was always afraid of what they would think of me. so I let go if the past and moved on. but somehow I still remembered and told him. he was quiet for a long time and called me stupid. then he told me how he didn't like talking to me when I was high. but I could have never been able to tell a living soul without drugs. he then just walked away. I became sad because when I finally opened up to him like that, after a while of sitting together he just teared up and asked me if it was true, amd when i told him yes, he just walked away. we have been dating for over a year now, and I need help understanding why he did that.

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Gumpster: 1 year ago

Because he's an idiot!

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3pleThreat: 1 year ago | Last edited at 1:34PM on 12/13/2011

awwwwwwwww maybe he took it real hard and felt bad that it happened to you, he cares for you. I smoke pot (even tho idk if thats what you were on) but i do it to open my mind and my self i feel like i can do things better and say them better, and i feel like there is nothing wrong with feeling that way when your high. I'm not telling you to do it, but if you felt like it makes you feel better and talk about things better then you should share that with him. And by the way you are someone!

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chrivas: 1 year ago

she isnt wierd. He probably needs time to think about what you told him. Just give it time and he will get used to it.

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DanceFreak: 1 year ago

He obviously cares about you. I'd take that as a good sign. And maybe he wanted to be your first (even though you were 19 and probably have had sex with someone you like already)

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girlwissues: 1 year ago via iPhone

Because he feels so bad for you

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lovemy124: 1 year ago | Last edited at 1:39PM on 12/13/2011

he could just be sad for u. or he could be mad and sad at u for not telling him sooner. its a scary thing. wish u luck to get him to understand.. that's a thing were he should have been there for you when u told him.. he shouldnt have ran off. give him time.. he'll hopefully come around. wish u luck again.

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JessiocaMarie: 1 year ago

He cried because he loves you. It is painful for him to know that you been through that. He was probably rude and misunderstanding at first simply because you were high so he wasn't sure what to believe.

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sudeep: 1 year ago

i've always been told that boys who cry for such small reasons are usually over acting n not trustworthy...m sure he is not going to cry if someone molests you 10 years in the future..
practical...:)

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stupidface99999: 1 year ago

being molested isn't a small reason, and just because someone is overly emotional doesn't make them untrustworthy

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mimi04: 1 year ago

i agree with stupidface. you shouldnt have said that.

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fusionhunterking: 1 year ago

i also agree with stupidface. First off being molested is a HUGE deal let alone Being molested as a child. secound what you said is sexist. you are stereotyping boys. some boys actually do care you know.

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sudeep: 1 year ago

hmmm,i agree...u guys are right...:(

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mimi04: 1 year ago

fuionhunterking does have a point some guys are just emotional and when your emotional its hard to think straight and now what to do. so i think she should just give him some time.

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tinyguy2412: 1 year ago

Because he is just sad

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xoxopenguins: 1 year ago

There's alot of reasons why he could have.
Maybe it's just the fact of how you told him when you were high & it probably just blurted out.
Uhmm, or he just needs time to think about it.
Like it was overwhelming for him, I guess.

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Thatoneguy1: 1 year ago | Last edited at 1:43PM on 12/13/2011

Wow, we all have our secrets, some of which, we are meant to carry to our graves. It's a lot to drop on a guy and his view of you has changed.He could have a negative view about you or a positive one... depends on his psyche

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JessiocaMarie: 1 year ago

Being molested is not a secret that should be taken to the grave. That's like saying if you have a daughter and she is molested or raped you wouldn't want her to reach out and tell someone because people would view her differently? I didn't think so.

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stupidface99999: 1 year ago

When I first read your question, I thought he must be sympathetic and upset that someone hurt you. but after i read your description it seems more like he is angry and upset, like maybe he thinks you are no longer pure? or good enough for him? which is stupid, and he seems like a jerk. If this is the kind of emotional support you can expect from him, you may want to end it before you really need him.

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fusionhunterking: 1 year ago

maybe he is crying because he cares. you dont know him so dont judge him. i would be sympathetic if my gf said that to me.

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stupidface99999: 1 year ago

i thought he was sympathetic, until he called her stupid, asked if it was true, and then walked away. She wanted opinions of the situation, this is mine

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stupidface99999: 1 year ago

and by the way, my wife was molested when she was younger, and when she told me, i didn't call her names, i teared up a little, and i held her. I told her i was sorry that it had happened, but that it didn't change who she was, and that i would always be there for her if she needed me or wanted to talk more. I certainly didn't walk away.

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angelface1998: 1 year ago

because he is sad and feels really bad for u.

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mer1019: 1 year ago via iPhone

He's sad

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Scarabrae: 1 year ago

It's hard for people to deal with something like that, especially when they never suspected it. I don't know that I would have walked away from a friend/significant other/whatever if I were suddenly told something like that, but I would have gotten very quiet for a while, just letting it sink in.
He probably walked away because he didn't know what to say or do. Give him some time to come to terms with it. In the meantime, don't get high anymore. Not making a moral judgment here; you just don't want to tell things to the wrong person. What if a gossip had been sitting close enough to hear?

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no_mans.land: 1 year ago via iPhone

Some people have there own problems and don't know how to open up or let people in, in that type of way.. Don't let it get to you he's not mature enough to understand something that deep. When the time is right he'll ask you about it. The best thing to do is talk to him when your sober. Good luck and sorry I here that!

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mimi04: 1 year ago

he is just confused that's a lot to put on a guy. give him time. he seems like he really cares about you.

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chillassnig: 1 year ago via iPhone

If he was high as well then he could have just been emotional, iv seen people cry when they are high cause someone ate their cereal

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fusionhunterking: 1 year ago

lol

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kjawesomenessw: 1 year ago via iPhone

He is shocked and so sadned by what u were telling him. If he don't like how u opened up to him then u shouldnt be with him relationships should know these things even if u r over it

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hpugh24: 1 year ago

Well first he was mad that you were high and he wasn't sure if you were telling the truth he mad because he wanted to believe it wasn't true he didn't wanna believe you but now that he knows it is he upset you had to go through that

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666_Maggots: 1 year ago

Was he high too?...

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