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Can someone fill me in on doctor who?

I just watched a episode and I'm utterly confused who's Clara and why is she a robot? What are the robots? Who is the girl and the guy? What's that thing the doctor carries around?What is he?What is the thing that looks like a time machine called? Does it stand for something cause my friend role me it stands for something.

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TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. The Doctor is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. He carries a sonic screwdriver. He's in his 1200s. He has two hearts, 13 (I'm guessing now 26) lives. A madman with a box and horribly colored kidneys. Allons-y!

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What's a time lord? Is he the only one or is there more? Is the women and the man (who seem friends with him) time lords to?
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O_o

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watch the first ep and then yeah

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Who?

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Does it end like that in all the episodes?
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Who's on first.
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What's on first...
Who's on second
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Who.
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Oh jeez, yeah, welcome to jumping into Dr. Who! I would suggest getting Netflix and watching the first season first.

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Start from episode one of season one

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