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Both my parents are extremely narcissistic. Do I keep them in my life? When is enough enough?

I have read the book "Children of the self-absorbed" and there is no question about it, both my parents are extremely narcissistic. Unfortunately, most articles and books only deal with one parent being narcissistic. I'm at the stage where I've accepted that they will never change, and I don't even try to confront them. How do I actually carry on from here, without harming my own family when they get in contact with my parents?

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I'm very sorry for your suffering.

It won't be easy for you whatever decision you make. You didn't say your age, so I will pretend like you are already a legal adult: Now is the time for you to distance yourself from your parents. You will need to be very explicit (to yourself) about why you are doing it. Keep a journal of your thoughts, because it may help you in some future time if you fall back into thrall with them, or if you are just feeling sad and forget why you made the decision. Also, you may have difficulty trusting others at times when their patterns resemble your parents (we can all be relatively narcissistic at times). And your journal will help you work out your own patterns, the way a narcissistic parent 'trains' us to be like them, and so forth. Journaling is very important for any journey.

Once you leave the thrall, you will be an outsider to those who are still inside it. Remind yourself that you are free and they are not, even when those who are in thrall, or your parents start in with the guilt and shame. My heart goes with you as you enter this new chapter of your life. You have my best wishes.

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I'm 45, my husband is 70. I had to deal with my parents visiting us for a week at a time, due to the fact that we live so remote. My husband could not understand why I react the way I do, till last year when he fell out of grace with my parents (always about money) and they started treating him the same way they do me. After Christmas he had to admit it was the worst Christmas he had in all his life. My son is well aware of his grandparents, and have tried his best to accommodate them, but even he is finding it hard to respect them. They manipulate, connive and use people. It is difficult when you have no respect or trust towards your own parents, I try to keep the peace, but to my own determent, and now to my family's as well.
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Classic high narcissists.

I'm thankful that we live in a time when narcissism is understood as well as it is. More and more of us are waking up to this problem. Life gets better from today onward.
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In my view, the best thing to do is to try explaining to your family what is going on with your parents so that they know or try how best to handle the matter as you have. Your family will eventually meet your parents and the best thing to do is to prepare them for what to expect when they meet with your parents instead of letting them meet without knowing what to expect.

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I would say distance your self but don't cut them out of your life. There still your parents. They are the reason your alive.

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What a great answer!!
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