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Me and my partner of 3 years are having a separation due to his alcohol and drug addictions as they got out of hand and he got very sick

I always knew he was a heavy drinker but had no idea about his drug past. He kept his issues very well hidden until the last 10 months of our relationship when his sister blew his cover and fouind a needle in his car. This may sound crazy but I miss him as strangely enough he was a lovely guy and we were much in love. He is now back living with his parents and now all we have is occasional email contact. He said that he misses me too and he wants to get better but its gonna take time. What should I do?

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addiction is very serious. I'm glad he wants to get better. you would not be doing him or your relationship any favors by getting back together with him, though. you might consider joining a support group for partners/loved ones of addicts. good luck.

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People can change, but like you said, it takes time. It also takes a real commitment on their behalf to getting clean, they have to want to get clean for REAL!! If you feel that he can do this and be honest from here on out, then it sounds like it might be worth trying to give him a second chance :)

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Give him time. He can change, and having you to help him would be good.

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Treatment and NA/AA will be necessary for real change. Otherwise proceed with extreme caution. Addicts can be charming but their illness can bring everyone down to the lowest depths imaginable. I know this from both sides.

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I am assuming you want total honesty so I am going to give it to you. You should forget him and move on. He will probably never totally rid himself of his addictions and you will never totally be able to trust he is clean. You will find yourself more and more alone and there is a good chance he will no longer be the nice guy you care about now. If you should have children with him there is an excellent chance they will have the same addictions. Please do yourself and your future children a favor and find someone else. You are right to worry!
Good luck.

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Take an interest in girls

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There can never be true intimacy with an addict. You may have been living him but he was loving his true partner, alcohol and drugs. While it is almost a cliche in treatment it is true that emotional development stops where substance abuse and addiction begin. He has a lot of work to do and so do you.

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I am in a relationship with some who had a drug addiction. He is now going on 11 years clean. Addictions are a illness, very hard to over come. He has to want to be clean and change no one can do this for him, he needs to be involved with meetings, and stay away from people, places, things that will remind him of his addiction. People can change. Best of luck.

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Go to alanon meetings.

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