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jenelle27: 1 year ago via iPhone

Your Open Question: I ask myself all the time why does my mom hate me or resents me or why can't she just be happy for me?

This is what is going on. My mom and dad split when I was 3. And my dad won custody bc she didn't show up the first time an got busted for pot the second time. Well my dad worked out of town all the time. So I lived with my mamaw and papaw. Until I was 12 then lived wit my dad when he got remarried. So my mamaw was always my mother to me an my mom was just like my friend and I never told her that till the other day when I had finally had enough of her. She has never been happy for me and this year has been one of the best in my life. I'm 28 and I have always been on drugs(pills) for ten yrs an was abused by my husband for yrs. well I finally got away from him and found someone who has changed my life. Has supported me through it all an I have been clean for 180 days now. And my mom started a bunch of drama with my family and texted me and said so much horiable stuff a mother could ever say to a kid. She told me I quote
"U dam ***** u damn rite and im gonna stir it all up.but im ur fing mom when u wont something.if i knew what a two face ***** kid i had ud never would of gottin **** from me.u didnt do **** for me ur whole life.dont u ever talk to me again."
So that's when I told her I thought of my mamaw as my mother an her as just a friend. I jus don't understand y she does this she has never once said something like that to my sister who she raised. So y? Y can't she b happy for me?

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This is what is going on. My mom and dad split when I was 3. And my dad won custody bc she didn't show up the first time an got busted for pot the second time. Well my dad worked out of town all the time. So I lived with my mamaw and papaw. Until I was 12 then lived wit my dad when he got remarried. So my mamaw was always my mother to me an my mom was just like my friend and I never told her that till the other day when I had finally had enough of her. She has never been happy for me and this year has been one of the best in my life. I'm 28 and I have always been on drugs(pills) for ten yrs an was abused by my husband for yrs. well I finally got away from him and found someone who has changed my life. Has supported me through it all an I have been clean for 180 days now. And my mom started a bunch of drama with my family and texted me and said so much horiable stuff a mother could ever say to a kid. She told me I quote 
"U dam ***** u damn rite and im gonna stir it all up.but im ur fing mom when u wont something.if i knew what a two face ***** kid i had ud never would of gottin **** from me.u didnt do **** for me ur whole life.dont u ever talk to me again." 
So that's when I told her I thought of my mamaw as my mother an her as just a friend. I jus don't understand y she does this she has never once said something like that to my sister who she raised. So y? Y can't she b happy for me?

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Answer 1

kelliekareen: 1 year ago via iPhone

That's a hard one! First, don't ever let someone abuse you ever again. Your mom is verbally abusive and you should avoid her for that reason! Sounds like maybe she is abusing drugs or alcohol ( just from what she said to you). Sounds like she really wasn't much of a mom to you! Some people look at their children as a possession rather a child! If that is the case, she feels betrayed by you and the people that did raise you! It's a messed up way of thinking! All you can do is live your life ( it's great that your clean now) and stay away from venomous people. I don't think she is ever gonna be the mom you deserved and you just need to be the mom she wasn't when you have kids! You don't owe her anything for just giving birth to you! Try to be happy and proud of the life you have made now, one she couldn't make for herself.

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jenelle27: 1 year ago via iPhone

Thank you that pretty much sums it u for me. She has always used drugs. But now she jus smokes weed. An I do have kids of my own. An I am working on getting them back. Bc I let them go stay with my family bc I was strung out an couldn't care for them the way they needed. But still yet I would never dream of ever speaking to my kids like that ever. An I know I have messed up my life but now I have to start over. An I will never go back to an abusive relationship again beleive me. Thanks for caring it means a lot. There was way more to the conversation I jus couldn't put it all on there. But I know she will never change. So I'm jus going to still love her but that don't mean I have to like her. Lol an stay away bc she jus brings drama an stress to me life.

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kelliekareen: 1 year ago via iPhone

That's the best thing for you to do, move ahead and don't let anyone pull you down! It's sad how many people will never get unconditional love from their parents! I got very lucky for the parents I got! Stay away from drug users cuz they will try to pull you back down! And like you said, you don't say such horrible things to your kids!

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ruthkioi9: 1 year ago

I think your mom is being resentful because she doesn't know how to act around you, maybe she knows how she left you down and she's wondering how she can be a part of your life. The outbursts can be a sign of seeking attention, so I would recommend you to ask her what she really wants with you.

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17afox: 1 year ago | Last edited at 1:50PM on 1/17/2012

sit down with your mom and talk to her tell her that you feel this way and ask her if it is true that she is treating you this way. i might be 13, even though a young age, i help people alot and this always helps:) and also she migh be hurt to the fact that you dont feel her as a mother. and she might have just been saying those things out of anger. it will be ok:)!!!

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