I can only guess at how you feel. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You're one of the warmest, most caring people on Ask and you've helped so many of us so many times. You've inspired us with your courage. I don't have any words for this but I know you'll find a way to cope with it. Don't let it spoil your life. You have our love, TL.
TL... you have tons of friends on here that love you. What's going on? - It's ok to cry! Seriously, get it all out. Thru my separation & divorce I cried so much I was literally exhausted from crying. I believe the problems & stress somehow escape with the tears. Don't hold it back. Also... make sure you share your feeling with someone. We love you TL!!
GE Reveal light bulbs, walking outside around midday to get extra light, antidepressants, vitamins.
I am seasonally affected (SAD) so if I do not use a light box and walk outside in the Winter, I get really, really depressed. The short days are hell for me and my brothers. They live where it is sunny year round, but I live where I have to in order to make a living. Considering that it is January, I have to wonder if crying might be related to SAD.
TL,Please know we are all here for you! The pain and deceit you feel has to feel unbearable, but the story may have more to it. It's not going down like this. Not to you! You are one of the coolest, big hearted, sweetest people I have met here. We are here, no one is going anywhere.
Truckerlady - come on over to California - I'll cheer you up with a nice cold piece of lettuce.
it seems like you've learned something that's really knocked you for six. But don't let it spoil your memories - they're the most important things you have. Guys do weird and unfeeling things sometimes, even though they love you deeply. Been there, done that.
TL, I just read your responses under the previous answers, explaining the situation. I am SO SORRY that you are dealing with this!! Unfortunately there isn't a magic word or instantaneous action that will cause your tears to disappear... like many other problems that deal with matters of the heart, this isn't going to be a quick fix, even though I wish with all my heart that it were. You are now grieving the loss of your beloved husband for a second time-- initially, you grieved for his physical disappearance, and now this newly discovered emotional abandonment. I can't speak for him-- unfortunately no one can-- but from everything you've ever written about him, it doesn't sound like he didn't care. If that were true he would have left you for this other woman. He might have been lonely, or perhaps acted on lust in a moment of emotional weakness, but I doubt that it had anything to do with love. Men have strayed from their wives since the beginning of time; it's an unfortunate truth, and unfortunately a hurtful one, because women equate physical infidelity with emotional attachment. I am in no way defending what he did to you-- I would be equally devastated and pissed if I were in your shoes!-- but I doubt that he kept this secret from you out of a lack of love. Rather, it was most likely the opposite that drove him to keep this other woman a secret. If he didn't care for you, it would have been a much more clear-cut situation! I know that nothing I say will be able to heal this new hole in your heart; nothing I can do will help you feel better right now; all I can offer you is my friendship, my open virtual arms for a virtual hug, and a few words that you need to hear right now. Let me tell you... you are not alone. As long as you have an internet connection, you will never be truly alone. As long as you have fingers to type with, you will have people who will support you. You have many friends here on Ask, and as I feel blessed to be able to count you as one of mine, I hope you consider me to be one for you. I'm sorry for writing so much... I truly hope that you find it helpful. I can certainly understand the hurt and loss you are feeling right now. I understand it differently, from different experiences, but I certainly understand the emotional devastation. If you need anything from me, please do not hesitate to ask. Good luck, and again, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this <3
TL I coulndn't help but quote one of my childhood favorites
"Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!"
Monsters Inc. (2001)
Now is it releven't to your situation, not really but as you can see were all here for you.
2 years ago
Last edited at 10:19PM on 1/17/2012
Have the cry. Calm down. Check the facts. In matters of the heart, facts are not just the tangible things that must be considered. Truth isn't tangible. It isn't simple when it involves love Reasons, states of mind, emotions, whys aren't either. Look for the truth and I hope with all my heart that what you find will bring you peace.
Hey truckerlady its never easy goin through some thing like this. all i know to say is ,you have tons of friends who love and care for we all stand here with open arms ready to love and lift you up in your time of need as we know you would do for us. you have so many shoulders to lean on to make you strong. so many open arms to catch you when you stumble and fall. so many hearts to love and comfort you, it doesnt say some thing about us. it says some thing about you and you kind heart that caused so many of us to love and count you as a friend you are a true blessing to all who are blessed to know you. hang in there were all here for you.... were all praying for you, i hope your better soon.
Truckerlady, I don't know you well but I believe you have survived a lot and come out on top, not bitter and wiser for your efforts. I believe that you know that, when all is said and done, love is unchanging and is the ultimate anchor that keeps us steady amidst rough waters. That a loved one was weak or made a mistake does not change the truth that love just is. It does not change the truth that you were and are loved.