do not give up..while it would be optimal that the father wants to help with his baby it is not 100% necesary...in fact i was an unwanted accident and my birth mother had to choose between abortion, keeping me or giving me up for adoption, she gave me up for adoption and i think in the end i turned out ok. lol. things may seem desperate now and if the only solution is to have an abortion in your mind then you have to do what you have to do..however you now have a baby growing inside you, he didn't ask to be made, he didn't choose for his father not to be involved in his life, if you are able to keep the baby or put it up for adoption i would very strongly advise you to,,,,if you give it up for adoption when it turns 18 if it wishes to find you and find out what happened it is possible....
If hes refusing to take care of a baby your two options are abortion or have the child and forget about him. I would take the child because an abortion would just take away the chance for a new life to begin just for one mans pleasure. but its youre choice ultimately.
2 years ago
Last edited at 11:39AM on 4/1/2011
Hi Dear ProudMom,
The first thing you must do is take care of yourself...even if that means you cannot carry this baby.
However people here on Ask will likely be also trying to help you brainstorm other options...
1. Do you have any possibility of a counselor you can talk to on an ongoing basis? Your tears are compounded by the intensive hormone levels of pregnancy, often difficult even when a woman's home life is stable. The counselor could also help you sort out hopefully what you really want to do as far as carrying your child.
2. Are there friends, extended family, or even just neighbors, who might come forward after your baby arrives, if you did deliver your baby? Here where I am in Des Moines, two beautiful girls, 12 and 13 now, were just taken in by a neighbor when their Mom could not cope; their names might be Jasmine and Harmony. Is there a way you could not be so much alone in this? In Washington State where I grew up there is a network called Hotline and Care Services that helps women who are left with all the responsibilities when a prospective father bails, as your significant other did. If there is a group like that, you would reach it by calling the Crisis Line.
3. Here in Des Moines also, a troubled mother just died from drugs...she left two daughters to be raised by others. As we grieve we know how beautiful the mother was, because she named one daughter Sky Lynne and the other one Heaven. And I just learned from Rheada on Ask that the meaning of the name Mary is "Sea of Bitterness." If you were to choose a name for your baby, what would it be?