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My boyfriend is respectful towards me and acts like an adult when he and I are alone together but is verbally abusive and is disrespectful

towards me when his 22yr old daughter is with us. he has very nice daughter I like her alot and sometimes I feel embarrassed for her when her dad acts like that. he acts like he has something to prove when she is around. why would a 48 year old father act like this around his kid? is it her is it me or both? I'm frustrated and confused about this situation any suggestions out there?

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It's HIM HIM HIM. u did nothing wrong. He's probably always been abusive and u deserve better. Nothing will change him. I'm SURE he was that way towards ALL the women he ever dated or married. If u want to know just ask his ex wife. RUN

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I just wish his daughter would speak up and be honest with him about how it makes her feel
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LetMeAnswer
Why don't you show her how to speak up and be honest? Be an adult and go talk to your boyfriend instead of a bunch of strangers.
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I agree with phil.and since you agree maybe u would benefit from some other help. I was in a very similar situation and didn't want to believe the man I thought I loved would ever treat me so bad by calling me evil names, acting like I was crazy n bad mouthing me to everyone. I was desperate for answers so I went to the web. Womenwholovepsycopaths.com was my answer. It is meant for anyone in an abusive relationship. It helped me to see him the way he really is: EVIL. trust me if u don't do anything else do this. HE WILL NEVER CHANGE.
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Well i think you should ask him point blank why he acts so, Many a times men get abusive or angry around situations they are uncomfortable.Maybe he wants to show her daughter that he is still the boss.

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I have asked him alone one on one and In front of his daughter and he won't give me a good answer.it doesn't matter how many times I confront him he never stops. I think your right he just wants us to think that he's the boss. Now when his daughter comes over I just let them spend the time alone and I retreat to another room, I don't want the belittling to start as soon as the three of us are in the same space together, sounds like dads insecure and needs to grow up!
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LetMeAnswer
Sounds like it doesn't bother you much as you just "accept" it and stay....
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Sounds like a physical abuser in the future.

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I sure hope he never gets to that point. right now I think he just has a big mouth and he'd rather be his daughters best friend instead of her parent. I might start setting up the video camera so he can watch for himself what he sounds like. Maybe watching the( jerk) on the video will give him a wake up call!
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phil_m99

I know this situation (I think), and I hate it, but pretty sure I've been there. Lemme guess: You're a polite and respectful person who dislikes confrontation; he's Ok but just a bit full of himself and maybe not all that self-confident or grown up.

So, when 'buddy' acts up in front of his daughter looking like a big man, you turtle up and resent it, not wanting to 'make a scene'. Then, there's never a 'right time' to bring up the issue later, because buddy is acting all nice to you afterwards.

How'm I doing so far?

If I'm right, and I might not be, you're on the highway to hell. You need to bloody his nose in front of the daughter, just once, to treat him like the bully he is ( and I say this figuratively, DO NOT take this advice if you even think there's a possibility of real physical violence). But if he's normal, and a real man, and just being a dick without realizing it, give him a verbal cuff about taking smack to you when his daughter is around, in front of the daughter.

Consider it an IQ test....

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Bingo! Your right on the money! I guess you've been there too!
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He wants to show everyone that he is a big tough guy. Dont take it from him, give it right back to him next time he does it

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I will, I've definatly had enough!
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I agree with white and red, I have lived this. Run now.

He may have abused his daughter when she was younger and needs to show off still. Please get out.

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That's definatly an option I've considered.
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Tell him straight up, "u distespect me when your daughter is around, it's over. "If it's only then now it will start to get more often till it's all of the time and probably will eventually turn physical. I agree with above, RUN! Fast and far

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I recommend you get out of this relationship ASAP. I'm guessing he truly has an issue with women in general. He most likely was abusive to the mother and the daughter as well. This guy is dangerous. I hope you don't stick around long enough to really find out...... Best wishes to you.

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Thanks, I would love to compare notes with his ex someday.
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Men like him do have a problem with women in general. In public they act like loving caring men. But they have an unfixable flaw. I hope she doesn't waste another day on this man.
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Leave him everyone deserves respect at all times

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I agree.
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LetMeAnswer

Ask him why would probably be a good idea if you want the best answer. If you don't like it leave him. We don't know him or you so can't answer your question....

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Seems like everyone is getting a thumbs down for their more than reasonable answers. Ask yourself why you put up with this trash talk, do you have a low self esteem? I suppose the girl will find a man that puts her down too- does this boyfriend of yours realize this? Stop being a little mouse and stand up for yourself woman! Or leave. I just don't understand why anyone would put up with verbal abuse. I'll walk away from this scratching my head. YOU should wash your hands of such a buffoon for a boyfriend

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Trust me I'm no mouse! I speak my mind and I'm not afraid of confrontation, sometimes I'm just not in the mood to be aggressive. I don't like giving up on someone who I think has the ability to be a better person. Trust me if I thought for one minute that he was Physically dangerous I would have been gone along time ago! Right now I think it's a character flaw. Maybe it can be fixed maybe not. Or perhaps the others are right and it's a sign of things to come. Either way I appreciate everyones' advise, thank you. Food for thought!
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I think it's a mistake that many women make- to think they can change their boyfriends/husbands. The behavior he exhibits is odd and I don't get it. I'm glad you're not a mouse, maybe you can get him to change his ways, for his daughter's sake and yours, I truly hope you can:)
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A man that raises his voice & disrespects you alone our in front of his daughter really doesn't deserve you...Period!. This is the first sign that there is something really wrong with HIM. Talking is the first steps to solving problems, If you still want to try. But in my opinion he sounds like an abusive person that won't really listen our change. The best solution that I see is for you to leave & talk to his daughter about why your leaving him. She might be 22 but she is still receiving that horrible feedback of his dad about how a man should treat you if he loves you. Good Luck.

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I agree 100%. His daughter will wonder why in the future she is unconsciously picking guys that treat her bad. At 22 she knows what he's doing is wrong. Nice answer.
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You should be writing "I left my boyfriend because he's a disrespectful jerk"!

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