I'm a lil confused. U are asking for help on one hand & talking about things that make it seem like there is no problem. I hope u are doing well, at the same time I hope u are not playing with emotions.
Some of the best rap/hip hop songs that I know are One Mic by Nas, Big Poppa by Notorious BIG, Dear Mama by 2Pac, Nuthing but a G Thang by Dr. Dre, Bring the Noise by Public Enemy, Crossroads by Bone Thugs n Harmony, Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio and Ether by Nas. You can get more top rap songs on http://rap.about.com/od/top10songs/ss/Top100RapSongs.htm.