Splitting up can be heartbreaking, and it comes as no surprise if your marriage is struggling that you are trying to come up with ways to stop your divorce. Marriage can be so difficult; it's hard to wake up to the same person every day for years on end. Quirks that once seemed cute become infuriating and it becomes easy to take everything your partner does for you for granted. When you add all of the other stresses through which modern marriages suffer, including economic hardship, child rearing, and illness, it may seem that your marriage is doomed. If you are willing to work on your partnership, however, you may be able to prevent a divorce.
There is no shame in seeking professional help for your problems. A professional counselor can help both you and your partner to identify problems in your relationship. The counselor will give you the opportunity to air your grievances without fighting and you will be encouraged to come up with constructive solutions to your problems. You may even learn that your partner has complaints that you were not aware of.
You can't save your marriage by pretending that your problems do not exist. Once you discuss your problems with a professional therapist, you can come up with solutions and strategies for eliminating stressors from your marriage. If your wife is overwhelmed by her responsibilities, you can make a serious effort to take a more active role with cooking, cleaning, or childcare. If your husband feels smothered, schedule time for him to spend with friends or engage in a hobby he enjoys.
Money is the number-one reason most couples fight. According to a recent study by Brigham Young University, couples with one or more materialistic members are more likely to struggle with marriage. Are you and your spouse living within your means? Create a balanced budget together that you both agree on. Make sure to account not only for needs, but also for a little bit of discretionary cash for each partner.
Refusing to have sex with your partner is going to lead to marital problems. You need to be intimate in order to save your marriage. Being intimate does not only mean consenting to sex, though. If your partner is the one refusing to have sex with you, try to be more affectionate. Make it a point to spend time alone together, being romantic; this is especially important if you have kids. Schedule a date night and hire a babysitter to watch them while you and your spouse spend some time getting reacquainted with one another.
You need to spend time together, but you also need some time to yourself. Before you rush into a divorce, try spending some time apart from your spouse. You may want to try a solo trip or living separately for a few weeks while you work things out. Spending time alone may give you and your partner the opportunity to think about why you were really happier together.