Q:

How do you set boundaries with adult children?

A:

Parents must ensure that adult children are reaching their goals, according to Psychology Today. Money should be provided on the condition that they are working toward independence. Children who work should pay for their own room and expenses. Parents need to establish a time limit on how long they can remain at home.

Another appropriate time to give money is when the child is undergoing treatment, but money should be given based on how consistently they are going to meetings. Parents should limit how much time they spend on helping the child. Adult children should have the capability to find solutions for their own problems. Parents are allowed to say no to promises they made, and they must not base decisions on gaining favor with an adult child.

Parents can lower the amount that children contribute to rent as they get closer to forging a life of their own. Parents may provide additional support by helping with the starting costs of renting an apartment but only if there is money available.

Parents must discourage enabling behavior, according to the Marriage Counseling Blog. This means saying no if a child constantly asks for money. If a child requests money on an emergency basis, parents need to give delayed responses by thinking it over or talking with a spouse beforehand. Parents need to be calm, supportive and non-aggressive when establishing rules.


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