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What are some funny microbiology jokes?

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Quick Answer

A funny microbiology joke is, "At the National Institutes of Health, the sign on the door of the microbiology lab reads 'STAPH ONLY!'" Others are, "Old microbiologists never die. They just get put out to Pasteur," and, "Don't let a microbiologist fetch your lunch!"

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An international microbiology joke is, "Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled to thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures."

Microbiology jokes often feature bacteria, such as, "What did the male bacteria say to the female bacteria? 'Who needs biology when we have chemistry!'" and, "Why did the bacteria cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken." More bacteria jokes include, "Why did the bacteria cross the playground? To get to the other slide," and, "She grew on him like she was E. coli, and he was room-temperature roast beef."

A variety of microscopic organisms are found in microbiology jokes, including, "What is the definition of paramecium? Two Latin mice," "What did one bacteria say to the other bacteria? Let's make like an amoeba and split," and, "The bad news is that the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Amoebas is shrinking. The good news is that the amoebas have not lost any of their members."

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